The Savages

The Savages

We watched a sweet, if somewhat depressing, movie last night. I didn’t think it was going to be one that I liked and was surprised to like it at the end. “The Savages” (Click here to read the NY Times review!) is about a dysfunctional family (like there are families that are not) that doesn’t really seem to have any connection until dad’s girlfriend dies and he’s forced by her family to move out of the house that they shared because of some pre-nup that wasn’t really a pre-nup. Anyway, they move their father to a nursing home in Buffalo and the daughter stays with brother in Buffalo through the holidays and they all get to know each other. The scene that “got me” was when the brother tells the sister that her play is good …

I’ve just lived that scene. A week or so ago, I had a voice mail on my cell phone from my brother’s new wife (my new sister). The gist of the message was that he’d found my blog and was amazed that I was blogging and that he liked my blog. Not only had I whooped his butt in Scrabble when we were out in California for the holidays but I was blogging … and doing it well. He said that he had underestimated his big sister! Abbie said that he was completely blown away … and he said that it was good stuff! It touched me right where it counts because I’ve never been told how special I was and just knowing it myself wasn’t really enough. I needed the outside validation from the people in my life who really mattered. Hearing it from my brother (and sister) felt so great – and I’ve saved the message. It’s a healing thing. Healing from never being good enough for my parents because I was just a girl. My father’s famous phrase was, “Pretty good, Monk” never “Good Job” or “I’m so proud of you.” It was “Of course we love you” during an argument not just “I love you” for no reason.

So, just for today I’m relishing the fact that my younger brother thinks I rock … and it’s really good!

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