I. Can’t. Knit.

I seriously can’t knit a stitch. Well, I can knit but I can’t follow a pattern and I can’t count stitches. This is a new disease. I’m sure that someone infected me. Where’s the drug to fix this? Quickly!

I am going to apologize to the people of Japan now and then state that I hate Noro yarn. There, I’ve said it.

Well, at least I hate the skein that I’ve been working with. I’ve worked with angora, fun fur, wool, alpaca, and all sorts of other fibers but this is the stickiest skein of yarn that I’ve ever had the dis-pleasure of untangling. It gets tangled up on itself for no reason at all in the middle of a (maybe) yard of fiber as I pull it out of the skein. I’ve been working with Noro Kureyon Sock Yarn. It’s wool and nylon (70/30) and I can’t figure out why it’s such a demon yarn!

Then there are my needles. I don’t know whose they are, they’re so old that the name is worn off and I admit they’re one of the first sets of circs that I owned and may be 20 years old but they may be the most INFLEXIBLE needles in the world. No, I’ve rethought this, they absolutely ARE the most inflexible needles in the world. Must be replacing them today – and think I’ll buy them at my LYS so I can have some immediate gratification. Shopping therapy almost always works for me when I’m in this mindset.

Third, the pattern. A free Ravelry download … simple lace pattern. I could recite the pattern by heart. But can I count the stitches?! Nope. Not a single one. One side was nine, YES NINE, stitches longer than the other side … and I’d already fixed this problem once! (And frogged and reknit once, to boot!)

Frogged again! Enough already – stop the bleeding! I’m giving up for now; and this Irish lass doesn’t give up easily. I’ll see you later Gaia Shoulder Hug … I’ll sneak up on you from behind one day and tie you around my new needles and make you mine.

So, dear reader (of which there may be one or two), I’m going shopping.

While I’m at the Knitting Patch I may see if the divine Laura can help me with the mess on the needles of project #2 … Cousin Lisa’s cowl. “It should have been done by now.” Thanks, oh, critical one! Self talk doesn’t do us any good … merely raises the level of frustration.