I know that when Peter Pan sang that growing up song, he didn’t want to have to assume the responsibilities of adulthood. I will accept those, but I sure as can be don’t want to get old and grumpy and alone.

My parents both died too young. One from (presumably) a heart attack and the other from Alzheimer’s Disease (she was gone years before she died). My grandmother died all of a sudden and was happy and active until “her time” came. The other grandmother was really old (96) and was bedridden and ready to go.

N’s mother is struggling with (I’m not sure if it’s life or) death. She is miserable. She is lonely and bored but refuses to get out of her chair and her room. I’d be stir crazy too if I was in the same room 24/7! But when her caregivers or we ask to take her outside, does she say, “yes! sure.” Nope. Will she go to the dining room? Nope.

I want to be active and healthy and, maybe most important of all, happy! Kick me when I get to feeling sorry for myself, will you? I will grow up if I can do it without attacking my children and facing each day with dread!

Gone sitting.