” I’ve Learned” by Omer B. Washington


I stumbled upon this “poem” (?) on another blog because it was quoted by a friend on facebook … how technology has educated me! Anyway, it is long but it’s worth a good (conscious) read. I’ve added some of my thoughts in living color, of course!

I’ve Learned

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them. (And if they can’t love you, that’s their issue, it’s not about you/me)
I’ve learned that no matter how much I care,
some people just don’t care back.
I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust
and only seconds to destroy it. (Amen to that!)
I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts. (Life is too short to “waste” on people who don’t have my best interest at heart. I choose to be around healthy, productive, loving, honest people with whom I share something. I don’t have hundreds of good friends but I have a few – and that is good.)
I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself
to the best others can do,
but to the best you can do. (Comparing does no good, it always makes me feel badly.)
I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to people,
It’s what they do about it.
I’ve learned that no matter how thin you slice it,
there are always two sides.
I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you’ll see them. (Yup.)
I’ve learned that you can keep going
long after you think you can’t.

I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done
When it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.
I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don’t know how to show it. (I believe this was my father!)
I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love. (This is all about my college buddies … who’ve been my friends through thick and thin, married and divorced, happy and sad, sober and drunk. They’re the best gang of girls I could ever have as friends – and it’s been since we were 18!)
I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to
doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. (I also believe that you can teach people how you want to be treated … if they want to change, they can! And don’t accept anything less that what you want!)

I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is,
they’re going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.
I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. (Best way to heal and move forward but not easy!)
I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken,
the world doesn’t stop for your grief. (And we shouldn’t expect the world to stop for our broken hearts. It’s nice to have it acknowledged, and nice to acknowledge the grief of others … you may be the only one who’s thought to do it and it’s never a wasted effort!)
I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other.
And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do. (Fight fairly. Cruelty is not OK. Period.)
I’ve learned that sometimes you have to put the individual
ahead of their actions.
I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
I’ve learned that no matter the consequences,
those who are honest with themselves go farther in life. (And oh, this is not easy! You have to eat a lot of humble pie when you’re honest with yourself.)
I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don’t even know you. (OMG, this is so true. I found my full-blooded big brother at the age of 50 thanks to a perfect stranger. It was a true miracle!)
I’ve learned that even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned that writing,
as well as talking,
can ease emotional pains. (… and it helps me work through problems or issues in my own time and in my own way – which is the only way that I know how to do things. Someone else may do it differently and that’s what works for them. Doesn’t make my way better or worse – it’s just mine.)
I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life
are taken from you too soon.
I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice
and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.
I’ve learned to love
and be loved.
I’ve learned…


… and I’m still learning … actually, I work to learn something new almost every day. That’s the only way that  I can keep improving and keep moving. With a smile on my face, I choose to move forward with love in my heart (and my heart on my sleeve.)

Gone knitting!


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