Healthy, Happy, Whole

Sometimes people disappoint you. Sometimes you disappoint people. I was asked today what it was that I would never forgive myself for … and when I answered, I found myself in tears. I always know that when the tears come, I’ve hit a truth. But the good news is that I am healing. After a long marriage to a man who bullied me (as my father did), I am healing. That feels so good. I’m starting to come into my own.

I’ve always felt that I am a strong woman. That I’m capable. That I’m a good mother and partner. I am a good sister, daughter, friend. But I’ve looked to others for confirmation. No longer. I do need to know that I can provide for myself … I can earn a living and don’t have to be dependent on anybody else for my support. It may be a choice but it’s not my “lot in life”.

Not again. Never again.

I will not be bullied. I will not be defined by others. My opinion matters and I need not look to others for my value. I am enough. I am worthy of great things. I am loveable, strong, important. Everything is going to be alright. The time is now. The best is yet to come!

Gone knitting.