“Worthy”, your honor!

"Little Linda" - 1 year old

I grew up in a family that didn’t value females. I was born just shy of 2 years after my parents, then unmarried, gave up their firstborn son for adoption. I was born sixteen months before my younger brother – nearly my Irish twin! They welcomed another son five years after me. I continued that path of worthlessness when I married a man, now my ex, who didn’t value my contribution as a stay-at-home mom (despite significant support from my family in the difficult times).

In the years since my divorce, I’m learning that I am worthy. Have been all along. Unfortunately, nobody told me that I was wonderful and beautiful and smart and all the other good things that I was. Nobody really saw me. I was invisible. A girl sandwiched between a lost son and two more sons. I have come to believe that my parents were probably disappointed when their “firstborn” (at least the one they talked about publicly) was a girl. I didn’t quite measure up to the boy that they wanted. And I never really measured up in their eyes.

I read a wonderful blog post today and want to share it with my readers (I know you’re out there!) I’m sure I’m not the only one who will be grateful to read the insightful post by Danielle LaPorte on the Positively Positive website this morning. Her blog is titled, “A Declaration of Deserving … Just Because You’re Here“. It confirms to me what I have come to believe and made me smile this morning through tears of gratitude. Because I’m learning that I’ve always been worthy and I can now feel worthy … just because I’m here.

Gone Knitting!

Annie-isms … The Rules

So, having paid for the weekend with Annie Modesitt (reasonable though it was!) I thought I’d milk it for all it’s worth! Get it? … Milk it? … Cow? (Supposed to be a joke … my kids always told me I’m not funny but I know that I can be. LOL!)

Love!

There were several knitting tips and life tips that Annie imparted to our group along the way and I wanted to share some of them with you. Because you deserve it. And because I think so often that things that apply to knitting also apply to living.

Ponder this:

Annie’s Three Rules

#1 – I’ll tell you later (Yes, this is what she said … not kidding!)

#2 – During class, I (this is Annie speaking, not me … although the rule is so appropriate for a classroom setting, I may just steal the rule!) should be the only one talking.

#3 – Don’t rip out the knitting that you’ve done in class. It’s hard to do a post-mortem without a body in the room.

And her number one rule … are you ready for it? Drum roll, please …

Don’t say anything about yourself that you wouldn’t want your daughter to say about herself (that you wouldn’t want to hear your daughter say about herself).

Saying negative things about ourselves only brings us more of the same.

Conversely, saying positive things about ourselves only brings us more of the same.

Interestingly, I found this on one of my Facebook favorites this morning.

Acting As If (with credit to happiness in your life dot com)

It’s a relatively new favorite page, but a favorite all the same. Primarily because it’s all about being positive – and I believe that you have to act as if … we believe what we tell ourselves … and if we tell ourselves positive things, we’ll attract more positive to our lives and we’ll be happier. Sounds easy, right?

One of my college friends reminded me that this was similar to the way that Abileen (think the book/movie ‘The Help’) talked to the little girl that she cared for because she never heard it from her mother. So true! That little girl (or boy, let’s not discriminate) needs to hear our mother tell us we’re special. That first intimate relationship with another human being is so important for our emotional and personal development and it’s crucial to becoming who we really are. And because so many of us didn’t hear that from our mothers, we can heal that inner little child by telling ourselves things we need to know.

So, for today, I’m practicing telling myself positive things. Anything practiced can become a   habit – and I really believe that this will bring even more happiness into my life.

Gone knitting!