I am Good (Enough)!

rockandrollfebruary1976

Yes, that’s me at the piano in my preppy sweater!

A million years ago I stood at a piano in rehearsal for a high school theater production. I was singing “Midnight at the Oasis” (among other things) and it was quite the challenge for me to be sexy and sing at the same time. No, really, it was. My teacher, Frank Best, worked with me a lot. How to walk, how to hold the mic, how to get off the side of the grand piano gracefully …

A couple of weekends ago I attended my 40th high school reunion. I’m not sure how 40 years have passed that quickly, how it’s been 30 years since I stepped foot on the campus. How it’s been 40 years since I’ve seen classmates who meant so much to me. It’s funny how life gets in the way of friendships. And it’s wonderful to pick up where we left off. My theater besties and I returned to the theater all these years later and remembered our shows together and others who didn’t come to reunion this time. It was magical.

Brian back at the old grand piano (that I slid of gracefully.)

Brian back at the old grand piano (that I slid of gracefully.)

Reunited. I wish Sharon had been in this picture, too!

Reunited. I wish Sharon had been in this picture, too!

One classmate shared the picture above and others from the school newspaper on Facebook prior to the reunion. What a good memory this brings forward along with some emotional baggage that I’m ready to discard. A couple of friends commented on how they remembered that show and my song. My number one fan commented that my singing “was one of the true wonders I have witnessed in my life. No lie.” This made me smile. (And blush a little bit.)

It’s difficult for me to accept compliments although I’ve gotten much more adept as I get older. I have come to realize that I really am smart and talented. Back then I certainly could sing. (If I tried, I might still be able to sing today!) “Midnight at the Oasis” was a big hit with the audience. I felt very proud of the performance and yet my father could only say that I’d done “pretty good, Monk”. Falling short of a resounding compliment and making me feel like I’d fallen short of making him proud. So, today I’m dumping that old weight that said I wasn’t quite up to snuff. I did a really good job. If people are still remembering my performance 40 years later, I did a really good job. I can be proud of my performance and know that it was truly a special moment in time. My father’s reaction was more about him coming up short than me.

I did an excellent (memorable) job. I am good! I am smart. I am enough!

Gone Knitting.

Annie-isms … The Rules

So, having paid for the weekend with Annie Modesitt (reasonable though it was!) I thought I’d milk it for all it’s worth! Get it? … Milk it? … Cow? (Supposed to be a joke … my kids always told me I’m not funny but I know that I can be. LOL!)

Love!

There were several knitting tips and life tips that Annie imparted to our group along the way and I wanted to share some of them with you. Because you deserve it. And because I think so often that things that apply to knitting also apply to living.

Ponder this:

Annie’s Three Rules

#1 – I’ll tell you later (Yes, this is what she said … not kidding!)

#2 – During class, I (this is Annie speaking, not me … although the rule is so appropriate for a classroom setting, I may just steal the rule!) should be the only one talking.

#3 – Don’t rip out the knitting that you’ve done in class. It’s hard to do a post-mortem without a body in the room.

And her number one rule … are you ready for it? Drum roll, please …

Don’t say anything about yourself that you wouldn’t want your daughter to say about herself (that you wouldn’t want to hear your daughter say about herself).

Saying negative things about ourselves only brings us more of the same.

Conversely, saying positive things about ourselves only brings us more of the same.

Interestingly, I found this on one of my Facebook favorites this morning.

Acting As If (with credit to happiness in your life dot com)

It’s a relatively new favorite page, but a favorite all the same. Primarily because it’s all about being positive – and I believe that you have to act as if … we believe what we tell ourselves … and if we tell ourselves positive things, we’ll attract more positive to our lives and we’ll be happier. Sounds easy, right?

One of my college friends reminded me that this was similar to the way that Abileen (think the book/movie ‘The Help’) talked to the little girl that she cared for because she never heard it from her mother. So true! That little girl (or boy, let’s not discriminate) needs to hear our mother tell us we’re special. That first intimate relationship with another human being is so important for our emotional and personal development and it’s crucial to becoming who we really are. And because so many of us didn’t hear that from our mothers, we can heal that inner little child by telling ourselves things we need to know.

So, for today, I’m practicing telling myself positive things. Anything practiced can become a   habit – and I really believe that this will bring even more happiness into my life.

Gone knitting!