Category Archives: Idle Chatter

“Worthy”, your honor!

Posted on by
Reply

"Little Linda" - 1 year old

I grew up in a family that didn’t value females. I was born just shy of 2 years after my parents, then unmarried, gave up their firstborn son for adoption. I was born sixteen months before my younger brother – nearly my Irish twin! They welcomed another son five years after me. I continued that path of worthlessness when I married a man, now my ex, who didn’t value my contribution as a stay-at-home mom (despite significant support from my family in the difficult times).

In the years since my divorce, I’m learning that I am worthy. Have been all along. Unfortunately, nobody told me that I was wonderful and beautiful and smart and all the other good things that I was. Nobody really saw me. I was invisible. A girl sandwiched between a lost son and two more sons. I have come to believe that my parents were probably disappointed when their “firstborn” (at least the one they talked about publicly) was a girl. I didn’t quite measure up to the boy that they wanted. And I never really measured up in their eyes.

I read a wonderful blog post today and want to share it with my readers (I know you’re out there!) I’m sure I’m not the only one who will be grateful to read the insightful post by Danielle LaPorte on the Positively Positive website this morning. Her blog is titled, “A Declaration of Deserving … Just Because You’re Here“. It confirms to me what I have come to believe and made me smile this morning through tears of gratitude. Because I’m learning that I’ve always been worthy and I can now feel worthy … just because I’m here.

Gone Knitting!

Defining a Life

Posted on by
Reply

Healthy, Happy, Whole

Sometimes people disappoint you. Sometimes you disappoint people. I was asked today what it was that I would never forgive myself for … and when I answered, I found myself in tears. I always know that when the tears come, I’ve hit a truth. But the good news is that I am healing. After a long marriage to a man who bullied me (as my father did), I am healing. That feels so good. I’m starting to come into my own.

I’ve always felt that I am a strong woman. That I’m capable. That I’m a good mother and partner. I am a good sister, daughter, friend. But I’ve looked to others for confirmation. No longer. I do need to know that I can provide for myself … I can earn a living and don’t have to be dependent on anybody else for my support. It may be a choice but it’s not my “lot in life”.

Not again. Never again.

I will not be bullied. I will not be defined by others. My opinion matters and I need not look to others for my value. I am enough. I am worthy of great things. I am loveable, strong, important. Everything is going to be alright. The time is now. The best is yet to come!

Gone knitting.

Friends and Fresh Eggs

Posted on by
Reply

What a fabulous day we had today …

A breakfast of fresh eggs (some still warm from the chickens) and the company of friends.

Multicolored Eggs - Fresh from the Chicken

And then, as if that’s not enough wonderful for one day, we went to the RV Show at the Volusia County Fairgrounds. For five bucks, I walked in to heaven! I’ve posted before about my “RV envy” situation … well, today I got to walk in and around dozens of RVs and 5th Wheels and Travel Trailers. I was so excited I felt like a little kid … all wound up and ready to jump up and down and clap my hands.

It was a blast!

Gone knitting.

Knitting Reunion

Posted on by
Reply

I am a knitter. I learn from other knitters … about knitting and life!

Last night my original Florida knitting group got together again. One of our members has moved out of town, had a baby, moved on. Not that the rest of us couldn’t got on without her, but the whole group kind of folded. Different priorities. Changing lives. Babies taking the place of sticks and string. As it should be.

But last night she was back in town for a conference and some of us gathered again for a time (a late time!) It was fun. And I didn’t knit a stitch. Didn’t even get my knitting bag into the living room. A glass of wine and the company of good women.

Knitting has brought me together with some remarkable people … Liang, Lindsay, Kelly, Kristen, the Jennifers, Cindi, Bob, Jeff, Karen, Beth, Bonnie, Annie, Pat, Betty, Pam … there are so many. Each teaching me something along the way.

Last night’s group was younger than me and they teach me to look back and appreciate my wisdom. I have lived well, was (am) a good mother, am bright, valuable and valued.

Life is good.

Gone knitting.

Hypocrisy?

Posted on by
Reply

So, this guy got pretty puffed up about the commentator at the Republican Primary debate’s question about his ex-wife.

As much as I, too, don’t think it’s responsible journalism to start a presidential debate with such a question … I find it a bit hypocritical that a man who has had multiple wives, and who appears to have made some rather outrageous (just sayin’) suggestions within at least one of those marriages would believe that he can write laws about who can marry whom … or anything else for that matter. I believe that the President of the United States should be held to a higher moral calling. Overlapping a marriage and another sexual relationship does not fit that bill.

Gone political … now I’m going to knit.

 

 

 

On Mothers’ Labor

Posted on by

A Woman's Work... ?

Here’s to the mothers who work on Labor Day … and the other holidays, at night, 24/7/365.

I was a stay-at-home mom for 20 years or more and on this Labor Day weekend, I would like to pay tribute to those working moms (many of whom do not get a pay check for a job well done) who give up a piece of themselves every day to build a strong-bodied, competent, compassionate, happy, productive child. It’s not an easy job – and there is certainly no paid vacation and the benefits are few and far between.

When I was a stay-at-home mom, I wore many hats: cook, cleaning lady, laundress, nurse, chef, personal shopper, personal assistant, secretary (for a group of four), therapist, doctor, taxi driver, teacher, CEO, CFO, community and school volunteer, etc. I loved that jobs and I’d take it back in a heartbeat. Only problem is, now that I’m single, that kisses and hugs will not pay my health insurance (or any other) bill!

The hours were long, the pay was practically nonexistent but I loved it. Too bad that it isn’t a job that’s sufficiently valued so that when this job is phased out, there’s not really any severance pay.

So, today, I honor those moms, like me, who work day in and day out for hugs and kisses (and many who work at a “real” job, too). If moms ruled the world, wouldn’t it be a better place!?

Gone knitting!

Bedlam in my Atelier

Posted on by

Bedlam!

Besides the two adorable pooches that I have to step over every time I move (God forbid they should sleep in the bed that I bought for them!) there is stuff everywhere in my Atelier and the bedlam there is making my head feel disorganized, too.

So, today I went to Costco to get some more sheet protectors for my patterns so I can put them away. I’m not sure what the best way to organize patterns is but I want to put them all in binders so they’re easily accessible and “orderly” (or at least I think they are!)

I’m making some stitch holders for gifts. I’ve seen them on Etsy and in magazines and I’ve had it on my “to do” list for ages. Finally bought the beads yesterday and today I’ve set them out all over my work table. Additionally, my work table has the gauntlets that I knitted as a gift and another pair as a give-away from my facebook page.

I finally hit over 100 “likes” on the Queen Bee Knits facebook page (If you are reading this and haven’t “liked” Queen Bee Knits and you’re on facebook, shame on you!) Yippee! I celebrated the special number by having a drawing … I closed my eyes and scrolled up and down the list of people who like QBK and it landed on Jackie Phillips Weatherly’s name. Now, I don’t know Jackie but I’ve sent her a message through her website (we “met” through a LinkedIn.com group that is helping artists get their sites “liked”) and I’m eager to send her the fingerless gauntlets. They’re really pretty!

Almost Ready to Finish!I’ve got the Noni bag in a ginormous laundry bag all set to get it felted. I bought everything I need to finish it yesterday: fabric for lining, feet and the plastic stuff that makes it stiff. I had the handles … and I can’t wait to see how it looks felted (and finished!) Hope I can get it done in the next week or so before we have to get on the road again.

Gone knitting … well, maybe after I clean up a bit!

Procrastination (and Crabbiness)

Posted on by
Reply

Foggy with a Chance of More RainIt’s overcast in my summer office today … and my mood is equally gloomy. I know what I should be doing and I don’t want to do it but if I continue to procrastinate, I’ll fall behind and then I’ll be in a pickle. Phooey!

Three chapters to read this week in my Human Biology online class … and it’s nowhere near as fun as knitting or baking or reading or anything else that I can think that I’d rather do. I’m feeling a bit like Eeyore – which if you really know me well, you know is not my style.

 

Decorating for Easter & Munchkins in my Atelier

Posted on by
Reply

So, we had a party last night to celebrate the fabulous new kitchen that we’ve just finished. It was fun to cook in a functional kitchen … and one that is more than a “one butt” kitchen, where we could both be doing things at the same time. While N. was making chili at the stove, I was chopping veggies … I had forgotten how sore my legs get when I’m standing in place for a long time!

Two friends brought their children with them and while it’s really not a problem, there was some mess to clean up from because directions given weren’t followed and I wasn’t paying attention. “Soup” was being made in the water dish in my Atelier … with the “sea glass” in two of my three sea glass ornaments on my (now) Easter tree. When I suggested to the kids that they shouldn’t touch things that belong to other people, the 4-year-old reply was “but I know how”. Great. The puddle of water in the corner of the room, the bits of glass all over the floor, the spilled essential oils (which were on the top shelf and can only be reached by inquisitive children who are standing on my work table, etc. just remind me that I’m way too old to want to be a parent again. Thank God my little darlings are grown and know better than to pick up dogs that go running away from you when you approach. Lola and Boq were hiding in their crates in our bedroom by the time the doorbell rang for the last time – they’d surely had enough of a good thing.

I’m grateful, however, for the beautiful kitchen that Pat and Roger and the other talented craftsmen helped us to create and I’m grateful for the friends who gathered around us to celebrate friendship and an end of a home renovation “challenge”.