Category Archives: Family

Empty Houses

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Last one in the pool … three boys and one who should have been a boy!

While my family was here for an extended weekend, we celebrated being together. We celebrated my oldest brother’s second recovery from a bout with hepatic encephalopathy. We mourned the loss of N’s dog, Max. We laughed, set off fireworks, made Smores, took a road trip to the Maine neighborhood where we went as kids, ate a few lobsters, some fried seafood, some “incredible cheeseburger pie” … really enjoyed having the time to spend together.

Baby Mourning Doves in their hand knit “nest” – Scuttlebutt and Ringo

My middle nephew found this pair of baby mourning doves a few days before coming to Maine and had researched the care and feeding of baby birds. They were thriving under his hourly feedings. It’s not an easy job being a mama bird … especially for a thirteen year old boy. Sadly, the smaller bird on the left, Scuttlebutt, died after they left Maine. As my brother the veterinarian says, “that’s why birds lay more than one egg.” Death is part of the circle of life. Survival of the fittest. A valuable lesson for all of us to enjoy the time we have.

Cousins on Blueberry Hill

My niece from LA was here for the first time. She was making some new “firsts”. First trip to Maine, first time picking blueberries, first sailboat trip, first lobster salad … and the list goes on.

It’s hard to believe that this young woman (and the rest of her family, too) has been in our lives for only a bit over three years. It feels so natural to be together and we have so much fun together. I’m not sure whether family just fits together … or maybe we are simply blessed to have that ease and comfort with each other after so short a time.

Jumping Off

Now, after they’ve all left, only N and I and two little dogs remain. The house is so quiet. N is struggling with a sore neck and a hurting heart. The empty house has reminded him of his loss and we are both feeling the loss of our family in the house.

I haven’t done much knitting but have to “un-knit” the few extra rows in my sweater … that’s what happens when you don’t pay attention! There were better things to watch and enjoy!

Gone knitting.

Family and the Power of Prayer

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The Power of Prayer

Several months ago, I organized a Facebook “event”. It was a moment of prayer, asking those invited to say a prayer for a friend’s husband at a specific time. No matter where they were, just stop for a minute and say a prayer for healing after he’d suffered with debilitating “issues” for years. While I can’t say that he’s healed today and able to take his grandson fishing JUST because of the prayers that I asked for, I can’t help but believe that they did have some affect.

On Sunday my big brother had a health challenge and scared the heck out of us. When he arrived at the ER near his home, the doctors told my sister that she should get the kids there. Twenty-four hours later at the big hospital in New Orleans, the doctors told her that he wasn’t that sick. We all asked for prayers. We all got down on our knees and prayed ourselves. Today, he’s back home. The power of prayer? Or just great medicine being practiced? Maybe both? Whatever it is, it was the only thing I could do – and I’m so grateful for the prayers from all over the world for my big brother. I truly believe that he’s going to get the liver that he needs and that we’ll have many years to enjoy each other.

When people join together in a common purpose, with good in their hearts, good things happen.

Yesterday, we traveled to Marblehead, MA to see my California brother and visit with our Marblehead brother and his family. We arrived, settled our dogs and went out fishing. My eldest nephew was the Captain of the ship, his younger brother his First Mate. While I was knitting and taking pictures, the boys (my CA brother and my sweetie and my nephews) caught bait fish way out in the ocean …  pollack (“not good bait fish, they swim down too deep”) and mackerel, good bait fish – and beautiful creatures with green and black markings on their backs. You hook the mackerel with jigs that can catch five or six fish at one time. And they did. Beautiful glistening lines of wiggling fish brought out of the ocean and put into the live traps (boxes with running water that keep the fish alive.)

The “real” fishing happens back in near shore often in ten feet of water. Stripers like to hang out in and near the rocky shoreline. The boys collectively caught four fish, each was able to reel one in – two 32 inch, a 37 inch “breeder” that was released back to swim and breed another day, and a little one around 20 inches. We kept one 32 inch fish which my middle nephew humanely killed, thanking it for being good food. I’d never been on a successful deep sea fishing trip. This was a fun first foray – I will go again!

Cole & 32 inch Striped Bass – this is a keeper!

Will and his 32 inch striper

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Biggest catch of the day – a 37inch striper and Rick

We had a wonderful time enjoying each other’s company and it was a gloriously beautiful day on the water. Even if there had been no fish, the trip would have been a success. My nephews may not know how blessed they are to grow up in a place where they can go out in a boat fishing for a few hours … but it was on my mind as they so competently drove the boat, caught bait, patiently waited for a fish to bite and knew exactly how to reel them in.

Spending time together with an eye on the prize (whether fish or just fun) is one of my very most favorite things to do! I’m so grateful for the opportunity to spend this time with my family. Life is so good!

Gone knitting.

 

 

Fathers’ ? Father’s? … A day for Celebrating and Remembering Dads!

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Everybody has a father.

My father had a father …

He looks like he was the penultimate lawyer (and I think he was an excellent patent attorney). He was gone before I was born so I never knew my father’s father. He must have had a more relaxed side, too … here he is resting while my grandmother does the dishes on a camping trip in Rye (NY?). I think we’d have called him “Grandfather”!

My mother had a father …

This is Grandpa Jack making up a bouquet of pussy willows. I didn’t know him either. He was gone before I was born. Mom was only 14 when he died and her younger sister was four. Oh, the stories about Grandpa Jack! He was a milk man and at one time drove a horse-drawn milk truck. He must have been an entertaining guy … here he is wearing a woman’s bathing suit! (Nice legs, Grandpa!)

I had a father …

He was a really great provider and a dedicated gardener. He was a handsome guy! I remember loving to be out in the woods with my dad. Puttering – picking up sticks or trimming bushes. He’d cut a branch of a birch tree that smelled like root beer. Or a big green leaf that smelled like skunk. He almost always had a cigarette in his hand. He would bring us to church (“I see the steeple” would win a penny) and sit in the car and wait to pick us up, reading his Sunday paper and smoking cigarettes. He had a running battle with the squirrels in the back yard who would rather eat bird seed he put out for the birds than the corn he’d put down for them. Mostly the squirrels won but Dad seemed to enjoy the exercise! He loved Maine and was quite a good photographer. He always came in from (snow-) blowing the driveway covered head to foot in snow and stamping his feet. He always rubbed Nouki’s belly at the top of the stairs as he went up to “change” after work. He cried when he had to finally put Sam to sleep. It was the first of two times I ever remember seeing him cry – the second was at his mother’s funeral. He would buy my the pink pistachio nuts that stained our fingers if I went with him to the store. Sometimes on Saturday, I got to go with him to work – and we ate lunch out of the machines at the automat in his building. It was a treat to spend time alone with him because it didn’t happen often. Dad drove American-made cars, mostly convertibles. I remember a Sunday drive with the top down when Jeff was a baby and a cloth diaper (burp cloth) flew out of the car … we all laughed and drove on. He liked coconut ice cream cones at Ho Jo’s and eating fried seafood at Burt’s. He always wore a suit to work with a white shirt and tie. He called me, “monk” (short for monkey). Oh, how I’d love to hear his voice today. Memories are comforting and there are many. I was lucky to be his little girl.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I still miss you all these 27 years later.

Gone knitting.

 

We’re Growing! It’s a … ?

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In late December I will become an aunt again. My younger brother (my nearly-Irish-twin brother, sixteen months my junior brother) and his wife are having a baby! Their first.

The last time one of my brothers’ had a new baby, it was my youngest brother who has not quite hit the big 5-0 yet … and his youngest is into the double digits!

My brother and sister-in-law have waited a long time for this baby (relative to their chronological ages) and it’s going to be a great occasion when he/she is born.

So what does that mean for our family?

Joy! Growth. Gratitude. A reminder of what is really important!

While we have had our relationship ups and downs, we’re all “older” enough that we realize how lucky we are to have each other. We all have friends who have lost family members. We have all lost our parents. We cherish every minute together and we make time to be together. As you may remember, we’ve added a new brother and sister and their respective families into the fold in early 2009 and we’re still reveling in that new addition. We’ve added two great-nephews, too. And now, again, we’re growing!

Family means the world to me. In a perfect world (at least in MY perfect world), we’d all live within a short walk of each other. But the world is far from perfect and we’re spread all over the map (U.S. map, anyway!) California, Louisiana, Arizona, Massachusetts, New York, Illinois, Ohio, Florida … none particularly close to the other but today we’re closer than ever. Because I’ve not been working for someone else, I’ve been privileged to travel to each of my brothers’ homes and to my children’s’ homes, too, in the last year. Last summer all the brothers and their wives and some of the kids and one of my kids and their dogs all took part in the Messalonskee “Camp Smedley” R&R week. 13 people, 8 dogs. And we hardly ever left the campus!

This new baby will join aunts, uncles, cousins, fur-family, grandparents … a couple of generations of family who love him or her already. Just because his/her parents love each other and because we all love them. That’s what family is about, isn’t it? Loving each other as we are and holding each other up when we’re down. Leaning on each other. Accepting, sharing, laughing, making time to be together.

Gone knitting!

 

The Roadtrip Reason

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My son, my “baby”, graduated on Saturday from University of Cincinnati College Conservatory of Music. That makes three college graduates! Yay!

The graduate and his Broadway-bound big sister!

P.S. We didn’t know what the red sash around his neck was for either … turns out he liked the way it looked and “borrowed” it from his friend! That’s my boy! 🙂

Road Trip! The Kindness of Strangers

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My grand-dog, Mabel, always happy to ride in the car!

This weekend, I put a lot of miles on my daughter’s car, took some long subway rides, knitted in public and watched my son (my youngest child) graduate from college.

I wanted to blog really badly when I arrived in New York at my daughter’s apartment. But didn’t bring my laptop and was sure NOT going to attempt a blog entry on my phone. So, now that it’s not as fresh, I want to mention that I was struck by how many people on the uptown A train (express from Howard Beach to 190th Street) were kind to each other!

When I lived in New York and was pregnant with my first child, I remember long train rides, standing. I was the size of a subway car for goodness sake … and nobody seemed to notice my balloon legs and Omar-the-tentmaker “dress”? But I am happy to report that kindness (and manners) are alive and well in 2012. A gentleman in a suit got up and gave his seat to a woman with a tiny baby on her chest (in a baby carrier – get your head out of the gutter!) Another man gave his seat for the woman’s little girl. An older lady nearly fell into the lap of a woman seated. Rather than copping an attitude, the lady helped her sit and said it was “no problem”. It was sweet to see! I’d likely have written more if my mind was still fresh but alas, it’s not!

Thursday plane, train and subway from Maine to my daughter’s apartment in Washington Heights (Manhattan). Friday a ten-hour drive from New York to Cincinnati. Saturday brunch, graduation and dinner. I also managed some knitting in public both on my son’s porch and at Starbucks! Sunday the return ten-hour drive from Cincinnati to New York – with a lovely traffic jam only five miles from my daughter’s apartment that delayed our Tony watching for over an hour! And today, subway, train and plane back to Maine! Lots of travel for a momentous occasion … my last child’s graduation from college! That means three have successfully completed four years of college and they all are employed! I am one proud mom!

I made a lovely new knitting friend at my gate this afternoon. I believe it’s safe to say that I have never met a knitter I don’t like! She’s from New York State and was heading to Maine on business. On her needles a shawl (pattern had no photo … brave soul!) and in her suitcase, a pair of socks in progress. A woman after my own heart! Her 401k is being earmarked for yarn while her husband’s will pay for retirement. Hey, a girl on a fixed income has got to have a stash of yarn to knit with! I say, that is mighty good planning! We had a great chat and agreed that when traveling we both plan and pack our knitting first!

As nice as it is to travel, I will be happy to sleep in my own bed tonight. Listening to my little Lola snore. I am grateful for friends who open their houses to this Queen Bee and for precious time spent with my children. Tonight I’m too tired to even download photos. So, suffice it to say, I’m not knitting … but I’m going … to bed! 🙂

Memorial Day (and Every Day) Gratitude

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Boathouse ... Our Flag Flies Every Day

Ned painted the flag on the side of our boathouse several years ago. Some days we go about our business without so much as a glance. Days like today, however, I look at it and feel so grateful to my father and the other Veterans (and soldiers) who have fought and are fighting for our freedom.

My father fought on a battleship in World War II. He was a gunnery soldier and shared stories about living on the ship where they had a pet monkey and the men dressed in drag to perform plays for fun. Dad didn’t like monkeys (they were dirty) and he never ate another hotdog, having had them “up to here” during his service.

The captain of Dad’s ship was a “drunkard” and I have pages and pages in his handwriting of charges that dad would have filed against the man. We may never know if any of those charges of abuse, drunk and disorderly, etc. were officially filed or if my dad just wrote them down for himself. (He did become a lawyer, after all!) Somewhere I have a map of his tour of the South Pacific that he made and I’m sorry to have given away or sold his uniforms and the “treasures” that he brought back with him. Only now do I recognize their value. Family heirlooms today that I would be grateful to hold and preserve for my family.

Many of my Rockwell forebears were also soldiers. Bits and pieces of historical documents  are in my safe-keeping and one day I’ll get them scanned and shared in another blog. One a soldier in the Revolutionary War who was called to duty in the summer of 1776 … check this out! From the State of Connecticut 1907. I believe that Julia L. Rockwell was my grandfather’s sister or his mother making the soldier my great or great-great-grandfather … though I don’t have the genealogy to confirm that here! (I will confirm at a later date.)

What!? You can’t read the old handwriting?! 🙂 I had to work at it, but here is what I think it says:

Oct. 24,1907 

Dear Madam, 

Enclosed find corrected certificate. (a clerical error in former) Records at best are somewhat meagre, Troops were hastily summoned from the floors and the workshops and in this particular case company with, other was raised to serve “until the exigency was over” In summer of 1776. Washington was in need of a large force to meet the enemy’s threatened attack upon New York.

 Very Rightly, (?)

 William EF Landers

Adjutant General

Cool, yes?

Suffice it to say that I am proud to be American today – and every day. I am grateful to my family members who have answered the call. My father, my great- or great-great-grandfather (?), Bud King (who is the Grand Marshal of the Oakland, ME parade today … he’s the oldest living veteran in Oakland) and Bethany, Jordan, and all the rest who have served or are serving  … Thank you for your service!

Gone knitting!

You say April, I say …

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Happy Birthday!!!

The end of April signals a lot of things to people. All over the world, spring is springing … flowers and trees are coming alive after a long winter (well, it wasn’t so long this year!) In my family, the end of April signals birthdays.

Today it’s my nephew’s birthday … Happy Birthday, Reid! My youngest brother, Jeff, turns … well, let’s just say he’s hitting a big birthday next year. And on Friday, my baby turns 22! Three great men (one’s still a boy) who were born at  the end of April.

I wish I had a photograph of the three of them together … but I don’t, so a picture of my son (one of my favorites and likely his least favorite) will have to suffice.

Happy Birthday to all!

Gone knitting!

My Trip to the Windy? City

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Sunset from the "el"

It may have been windy but it was not chilly at all at the end of March. In fact, it was downright warm … Ok, let’s be totally honest and call it freaking hot! 85 degrees in Chicago? In March? Absurdly warm … and I brought long sleeves. Thank God for Target!

No particularly flattering but my chins are smiling!

Despite my actor daughter’s mysterious illness that kept her out of three shows, including the one I – and theater house manager daughter – was to attend, we had lots of time together and it was wonderful. Got to see my son briefly on his way to Michigan on Spring Break (his last). What a treat. Met daughter #2’s new beau … and like him very much.

There’s nothing quite as comforting as leaving your child knowing that there’s someone that she loves and who loves her. Someone who’s got her back. Someone who she can talk to and someone who puts up with the crazy family drama and still hangs around. My approval stamp was already taken out, used and put away. Welcome to the family, M! Thank you for loving my daughter. Daughter #1 has a man in her life who’s really special, too. I feel very grateful that they both have someone to share the ups and downs of life with  and that they don’t have to deal with “it” alone. It makes my heart feel full and calm.

We did a ton of walking and eating and talking and walking and eating. We may have had a couple of glasses of wine or a martini or two. Saw the Marilyn statue on Michigan Avenue on the way to the urgent care clinic. Went to the beach and buried Mabel – my grand-dog – in the sand. Shopped at Target and Whole Foods. Threw away a couple of organic mangoes two days later. (Boo!) Drank tea, coffee, water, rode busses and the “el”, walked and ate some more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fishy Tree on the Magnificent Stinky Mile

The flowering trees were all in bloom as were the tulips and daffodils… some smelled sweet and some, not so much! (What tree is this that smells like rotten fish?! And why did anyone think they are good trees to plant along city streets?) I can’t imagine how those who have the fortune (or misfortune) to have one of these trees outside their apartment windows survive this time of year!

Mom's Bad Hair Day - by the (used-to-be-green) Chicago River

It’s always great to spend time with my kids and this trip was no exception. I’m so proud of them all and I’m so happy to be their mom.

What a wonderful trip to Chicago – thanks, L. for letting me sleep in your bed and sharing your space with me. I love seeing you grow and spread your wings! And, K., when was the last time I got to take you to the doctor? 🙂 And my boy – you’re almost done. A couple of months of college work and you’ll have to find a real job or come and live with your mom. I’ll take care of you! 🙂 Ha! Like that’ll happen … the live with mom part, I mean!

We needed to deal with some serious family stuff that reared its ugly head while I was there. I’m full of gratitude that this stuff is coming up now when I’m feeling stronger and more capable so that I can offer support to my children as they deal with some very difficult stuff. I am so lucky to have been given the gift of these three kids.

Gone knitting (with a grateful heart).

 

On the Road Again

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Happy!

This is a happy woman. Toes in the sand (even if it’s not salty) and surrounded by my kids. Not sure that there’s anything better. It was hot and I had cooler weather clothes but I was so happy to be able to be there with them.

On the road to Cincinnati to support my kids through a rough spot. There is nothing in the world that is more important than my kids and I will write more soon.

Gone driving!