Tag Archives: Family

Empty Houses

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Last one in the pool … three boys and one who should have been a boy!

While my family was here for an extended weekend, we celebrated being together. We celebrated my oldest brother’s second recovery from a bout with hepatic encephalopathy. We mourned the loss of N’s dog, Max. We laughed, set off fireworks, made Smores, took a road trip to the Maine neighborhood where we went as kids, ate a few lobsters, some fried seafood, some “incredible cheeseburger pie” … really enjoyed having the time to spend together.

Baby Mourning Doves in their hand knit “nest” – Scuttlebutt and Ringo

My middle nephew found this pair of baby mourning doves a few days before coming to Maine and had researched the care and feeding of baby birds. They were thriving under his hourly feedings. It’s not an easy job being a mama bird … especially for a thirteen year old boy. Sadly, the smaller bird on the left, Scuttlebutt, died after they left Maine. As my brother the veterinarian says, “that’s why birds lay more than one egg.” Death is part of the circle of life. Survival of the fittest. A valuable lesson for all of us to enjoy the time we have.

Cousins on Blueberry Hill

My niece from LA was here for the first time. She was making some new “firsts”. First trip to Maine, first time picking blueberries, first sailboat trip, first lobster salad … and the list goes on.

It’s hard to believe that this young woman (and the rest of her family, too) has been in our lives for only a bit over three years. It feels so natural to be together and we have so much fun together. I’m not sure whether family just fits together … or maybe we are simply blessed to have that ease and comfort with each other after so short a time.

Jumping Off

Now, after they’ve all left, only N and I and two little dogs remain. The house is so quiet. N is struggling with a sore neck and a hurting heart. The empty house has reminded him of his loss and we are both feeling the loss of our family in the house.

I haven’t done much knitting but have to “un-knit” the few extra rows in my sweater … that’s what happens when you don’t pay attention! There were better things to watch and enjoy!

Gone knitting.

We’re Growing! It’s a … ?

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In late December I will become an aunt again. My younger brother (my nearly-Irish-twin brother, sixteen months my junior brother) and his wife are having a baby! Their first.

The last time one of my brothers’ had a new baby, it was my youngest brother who has not quite hit the big 5-0 yet … and his youngest is into the double digits!

My brother and sister-in-law have waited a long time for this baby (relative to their chronological ages) and it’s going to be a great occasion when he/she is born.

So what does that mean for our family?

Joy! Growth. Gratitude. A reminder of what is really important!

While we have had our relationship ups and downs, we’re all “older” enough that we realize how lucky we are to have each other. We all have friends who have lost family members. We have all lost our parents. We cherish every minute together and we make time to be together. As you may remember, we’ve added a new brother and sister and their respective families into the fold in early 2009 and we’re still reveling in that new addition. We’ve added two great-nephews, too. And now, again, we’re growing!

Family means the world to me. In a perfect world (at least in MY perfect world), we’d all live within a short walk of each other. But the world is far from perfect and we’re spread all over the map (U.S. map, anyway!) California, Louisiana, Arizona, Massachusetts, New York, Illinois, Ohio, Florida … none particularly close to the other but today we’re closer than ever. Because I’ve not been working for someone else, I’ve been privileged to travel to each of my brothers’ homes and to my children’s’ homes, too, in the last year. Last summer all the brothers and their wives and some of the kids and one of my kids and their dogs all took part in the Messalonskee “Camp Smedley” R&R week. 13 people, 8 dogs. And we hardly ever left the campus!

This new baby will join aunts, uncles, cousins, fur-family, grandparents … a couple of generations of family who love him or her already. Just because his/her parents love each other and because we all love them. That’s what family is about, isn’t it? Loving each other as we are and holding each other up when we’re down. Leaning on each other. Accepting, sharing, laughing, making time to be together.

Gone knitting!

 

The Roadtrip Reason

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My son, my “baby”, graduated on Saturday from University of Cincinnati College Conservatory of Music. That makes three college graduates! Yay!

The graduate and his Broadway-bound big sister!

P.S. We didn’t know what the red sash around his neck was for either … turns out he liked the way it looked and “borrowed” it from his friend! That’s my boy! 🙂

Road Trip! The Kindness of Strangers

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My grand-dog, Mabel, always happy to ride in the car!

This weekend, I put a lot of miles on my daughter’s car, took some long subway rides, knitted in public and watched my son (my youngest child) graduate from college.

I wanted to blog really badly when I arrived in New York at my daughter’s apartment. But didn’t bring my laptop and was sure NOT going to attempt a blog entry on my phone. So, now that it’s not as fresh, I want to mention that I was struck by how many people on the uptown A train (express from Howard Beach to 190th Street) were kind to each other!

When I lived in New York and was pregnant with my first child, I remember long train rides, standing. I was the size of a subway car for goodness sake … and nobody seemed to notice my balloon legs and Omar-the-tentmaker “dress”? But I am happy to report that kindness (and manners) are alive and well in 2012. A gentleman in a suit got up and gave his seat to a woman with a tiny baby on her chest (in a baby carrier – get your head out of the gutter!) Another man gave his seat for the woman’s little girl. An older lady nearly fell into the lap of a woman seated. Rather than copping an attitude, the lady helped her sit and said it was “no problem”. It was sweet to see! I’d likely have written more if my mind was still fresh but alas, it’s not!

Thursday plane, train and subway from Maine to my daughter’s apartment in Washington Heights (Manhattan). Friday a ten-hour drive from New York to Cincinnati. Saturday brunch, graduation and dinner. I also managed some knitting in public both on my son’s porch and at Starbucks! Sunday the return ten-hour drive from Cincinnati to New York – with a lovely traffic jam only five miles from my daughter’s apartment that delayed our Tony watching for over an hour! And today, subway, train and plane back to Maine! Lots of travel for a momentous occasion … my last child’s graduation from college! That means three have successfully completed four years of college and they all are employed! I am one proud mom!

I made a lovely new knitting friend at my gate this afternoon. I believe it’s safe to say that I have never met a knitter I don’t like! She’s from New York State and was heading to Maine on business. On her needles a shawl (pattern had no photo … brave soul!) and in her suitcase, a pair of socks in progress. A woman after my own heart! Her 401k is being earmarked for yarn while her husband’s will pay for retirement. Hey, a girl on a fixed income has got to have a stash of yarn to knit with! I say, that is mighty good planning! We had a great chat and agreed that when traveling we both plan and pack our knitting first!

As nice as it is to travel, I will be happy to sleep in my own bed tonight. Listening to my little Lola snore. I am grateful for friends who open their houses to this Queen Bee and for precious time spent with my children. Tonight I’m too tired to even download photos. So, suffice it to say, I’m not knitting … but I’m going … to bed! 🙂

Road Trip!

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Here I am in my northern “Atelier” … and I feel driven (ha! no pun intended) to chronicle our road trip – another excellent adventure! Our annual pilgrimage to our favorite spot on the planet Earth – Belgrade, Maine.

We took off on Tuesday morning, a day earlier than we had planned to leave because we got “worried” about the Memorial Day weekend traffic. Call it a gut feeling. And the drive was uneventful which is a good thing when you’re towing a Hobie Cat and have three dogs in the car! We got as far as Richmond, Virginia where we stopped the first night – we love dog-friendly LaQuinta Hotels! A ten hour drive in twelve (or so hours) is always tenuous … but we do it well!

Day two began in Richmond and we had no plan for where it was going to end. BUT when we looked at the map and since we got an early start (very early, thanks to Max) … we thought we might make it to Connecticut.

Washington Monument Straight Ahead!

And then we hit Washington, DC and made a “wrong turn” … what’s the deal with road signs in our nations capital? We ended up in a traffic jam and in downtown Washington … with a boat and trailer. Really!?

Ha! Wrong turns lead to interesting blog photos!

Thankfully, we can laugh at our mistakes and on we pushed toward New York where we had another near miss on the New Jersey Turnpike and darn near ended up in Manhattan … but managed to pull off a “fix” and swing around via the Garden State Parkway and headed over the Tappan Zee Bridge.

Tappan Zee Traffic over the Hudson

Once over on the New York side, we realized we could make Massachusetts and pushed on … another 13 hour day but we were at my brother’s house around 8 … and we adore being in Marblehead. (If you’ve never been to the North Shore of Boston, you have got to make a trip … Marblehead is the sweetest town and a great place to escape to when you need to get away!)

Marblehead Harbor - Evening

After a night with our family – the nephews, dogs, and their parents – we headed off one more time … picked up the boat and spied on the movie people who are filming the movie “Grown Ups” there … with Adam Sandler and Salma Hayek. (I had to spy!)

Hooking up the trailer - last time!

Movie Stars in Marblehead

The last leg of our journey included dropping a box of books off for a knitting friend of mine. These books belonged to her mother, now deceased, and she just felt that the books needed to be returned to Gloucester, MA (where they came from). So, up Route 128 we headed to Gloucester … and dropped off the books at Isabel’s house. Ned and I both remarked at how special it is to live in towns where you don’t have to lock your doors. Raising children in towns like that must be very special.

And then I saw this sign …

Coveted Yarn - Gloucester, MA

What knitter could resist? Not this one, that’s for sure. So into the shop I wander… Heaven! Coveted Yarn is a sweet shop that looks teeny-tiny and is really packed to the rafters (cleverly so!) with the most wonderful fibers and yarns! I could easily have spent the better part of the day there fingering fiber … but had to settle for an hour and hope one day soon to be able to get back! (Maybe to meet Isabel, too!) I bought some of their locally dyed yarns … one skein of sock weight and two bulky weight in magnificent color ways and a pattern, too. (Nope, not sharing, it’s a gift for someone really, really special!) I can hardly wait to get my needles unpacked.

And then off to Maine … with a little luncheon stop at Stop and Shop – did you know that grocery stores offer some more healthy choices on the quick? ~ we had eaten enough junk the day before! Only a couple of hours more and we were in Maine … crossing the last bridge of our trip!

Piscataqua River Bridge - Welcome to Maine!

Upon arriving at the house, we always sigh a sigh of relief. It was still standing  … 100 years and counting  … this house has been the one constant for Ned and we spent some special time here when we dated the first time (in 1976). I feel very much at home in New England.

The Littles - Glad to be Out of the Car!

The lawn was (and parts still are) knee-high. Buttercups, little white daisies and dandelions are blooming everywhere!

The vegetable garden was (until tomorrow) completely over-taken with weeds.

Only the "seedy" rhubarb is visible in the Vegetable Garden!

After several hours cleaning and disinfecting and moving in groceries and clothes and yarn (duh!) and when our backs couldn’t do another chore, we showered and it was cocktail time. A bit too breezy to spend more than a cursory few minutes on the front porch … we are so grateful to be able to spend time here in this beautiful place that we love so much. I’ll be writing more about our summer adventures – my knitting group meets on Wednesday night and I’m already itching to see my Maine knitting girls!

Gone knitting!

En Français

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I have a French daughter.

OK … so she’s not really my daughter by birth but she feels like she’s one of my children. And she’s really French – born in France, lives in Paris.

Reunion 2011

Last summer Flo and her family (husband, Francois and baby boy, Oscar) arrived for a visit in Maine. It had been years since I’d seen her. Lots of years! Enough time for her to go from teenager to business woman, to wife and then mother.

We had a very sweet reunion in Maine … this picture is of the two of us in Bangor airport. What fun it was to see her again.

Today they’re coming back over and to Florida. I am leaving to meet them at the airport in a couple of minutes and the anticipation is making me crazy – crazier than usual! They’ll be here with us for a couple of days and then they’re headed to Miami and to see a bit of the state.

Boulette 2011

Last year in Maine it was freezing cold and rainy. Today in Florida it’s super hot and humid. Warm enough for a swim! Last year, Boulette was just starting to think about walking and he had a bath in the kitchen sink. This year he’ll be walking and dancing and we have a tub in this house. And a pool (I bought him some swimmies!)

I can hardly wait!

You say April, I say …

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Happy Birthday!!!

The end of April signals a lot of things to people. All over the world, spring is springing … flowers and trees are coming alive after a long winter (well, it wasn’t so long this year!) In my family, the end of April signals birthdays.

Today it’s my nephew’s birthday … Happy Birthday, Reid! My youngest brother, Jeff, turns … well, let’s just say he’s hitting a big birthday next year. And on Friday, my baby turns 22! Three great men (one’s still a boy) who were born at  the end of April.

I wish I had a photograph of the three of them together … but I don’t, so a picture of my son (one of my favorites and likely his least favorite) will have to suffice.

Happy Birthday to all!

Gone knitting!

Moved to Tears

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Several times in the last week or so, I’ve been moved to tears.

Those who really know me wouldn’t be at all surprised. My heart is worn on my sleeve. And now that I’m starting to come out of the post-divorce fog, I am finding my heart to be more vulnerable than it has been in a long while.

Compassion for the people who feel unlovable. For those who have been beaten. For those who are lonely. Even for one person who has hurt me very badly but is hurting himself even more. Gratitude for my friends and family who listen and advise and support me so completely. There are fewer friends and more family and I am so lucky. I have a man who would drive for four days to support me as I support my kids – even if it means pizza and bagels and half-price book shopping by ourselves and 2,000 miles on the road for a dinner with my kids. Love for my brothers and my sisters and my children and the love of my life. Love for my “old” Roomie who is still my bestest buddy 36 years later!

I may not be wealthy right now but I’m certainly rich – rich with blessings of people who love me and for that I’m so lucky. Life is full of silver linings. I’m so glad that I can find them today.

Gone knitting.

On the Road Again

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Happy!

This is a happy woman. Toes in the sand (even if it’s not salty) and surrounded by my kids. Not sure that there’s anything better. It was hot and I had cooler weather clothes but I was so happy to be able to be there with them.

On the road to Cincinnati to support my kids through a rough spot. There is nothing in the world that is more important than my kids and I will write more soon.

Gone driving!

“Worthy”, your honor!

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"Little Linda" - 1 year old

I grew up in a family that didn’t value females. I was born just shy of 2 years after my parents, then unmarried, gave up their firstborn son for adoption. I was born sixteen months before my younger brother – nearly my Irish twin! They welcomed another son five years after me. I continued that path of worthlessness when I married a man, now my ex, who didn’t value my contribution as a stay-at-home mom (despite significant support from my family in the difficult times).

In the years since my divorce, I’m learning that I am worthy. Have been all along. Unfortunately, nobody told me that I was wonderful and beautiful and smart and all the other good things that I was. Nobody really saw me. I was invisible. A girl sandwiched between a lost son and two more sons. I have come to believe that my parents were probably disappointed when their “firstborn” (at least the one they talked about publicly) was a girl. I didn’t quite measure up to the boy that they wanted. And I never really measured up in their eyes.

I read a wonderful blog post today and want to share it with my readers (I know you’re out there!) I’m sure I’m not the only one who will be grateful to read the insightful post by Danielle LaPorte on the Positively Positive website this morning. Her blog is titled, “A Declaration of Deserving … Just Because You’re Here“. It confirms to me what I have come to believe and made me smile this morning through tears of gratitude. Because I’m learning that I’ve always been worthy and I can now feel worthy … just because I’m here.

Gone Knitting!