My Daughter’s Wedding

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My daughter was married on September 30th in New York. It was a perfect weekend spent with my family and now-extended family, too.

IMG_1670IMG_1680.JPGWhen a family grows by birth or by marriage, it is a time to count your blessings and celebrate life. I counted my blessings so many times that weekend.

I’m grateful for my wonderful husband who loves me and supports my crazy yarn obsession. (Note the picture above of us all in front of Purl Soho!) I’m grateful for my “new” big brother and his family that we’ve had in our life for almost ten years now. And that he is once again healthy. I’m grateful that my other brother Rick’s back is healing. I’m so thankful for the friends and family that gathered for my daughter’s wedding and for my new son-in-love’s family and friends, too. I’m thankful for friends who cooked us a wonderful brunch, for the beautiful weather, an adequate AirBnB apartment that allowed us to rest. Mostly I am thrilled and grateful for the happiness that I see in my daughter. I am so grateful for the man that loves her. I’m grateful that she’s found her person.

When I was pregnant with her, as the due date got closer, I was worried that there wouldn’t be enough love in my heart to give to this second child of mine. I loved her sister with all of my heart. When I held her in my arms for the first time, I found that there was an infinite amount of love in my heart for my child and that I would do anything within my power for them. I feel that way today as much as I felt it then.

On Sunday we had brunch at the home of friends in lower Manhattan. It was a perfect opportunity to let the bride and her new husband spend some time with their friends who traveled from all over the country for their big day. We had a walk around Battery Park and the 9/11 Memorial Site. It’s a remarkable area, full of history, and my heart healed a bit more. I had not visited my old work site at the World Trade Center since before the attack.

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Being a mother means living with your heart outside your body. My heart is full today with the memory of my daughter’s wedding and having my family around me. I will never forget.

Life is good!

Gone knitting.

Fathers’ Day or Father’s Day?

On this father’s day, I celebrate my dear old dad. He lived a “charmed” life but even lives of the very fortunate have some heart ache. My grandmother had a “nervous breakdown” after my grandfather passed away. The children were divided up amongst friends of the family while she was institutionalized. Her heart was broken. Dad was an attorney in Hartford for a successful law firm that became one of the biggest (and some would argue, best) in the state of Connecticut. He was admired and respected. I didn’t really understand who he was until he was gone and people shared some of his stories with me. Stories that he never did share.

In dad's writing ...

It was a secret he and my mother kept until their deaths. 

I found this cartoon among my mother’s papers when we cleaned out her house. I didn’t understand it except that we’d always heard the story that dad wouldn’t marry mom (a legal secretary) and he was dating others so mom moved to California to get away from the heart ache. Today we know that the truth was a bit different – mom had become pregnant with my father’s child and moved to California to conceal the pregnancy. Once the baby boy was born  (on Mom’s birthday, May 28, 1956) and put up for adoption, she returned to Connecticut and in September of 1957 my parents were married.

The cartoon above now takes on special meaning in our family. This must have been when mom was returning to her life in Connecticut. My future parents had me in July of 1958 and my two brothers in 1960 and 1963. We, too, lead a charmed life according to most. I’m quite sure that their secret burned a hole in my parents’ hearts and in their marriage, too. Neither of them ever “forgot” that baby boy. It was a secret they kept until their deaths.  When my father died from a heart attack, they were in the process of being divorced. My mother followed him in death in 2008 after ten years with Alzheimer’s Disease. Is it possible that their secret had an affect on their lives and their deaths?

My dad was born in 1922 and if he was still living today he’d be ninety-four years old. I miss my dad today. I miss him often. I wish he was here to see my kids “adulting” and to see all four of his kids all together. I would love to be able to introduce him to my big brother who I found nine years ago and who has been integrated into my family with my “new” (and only) sister. How fortunate we are to be add siblings in our 50s! I think dad would be proud of us all and he’d be thrilled with his ten grandchildren. He’s missed so much in the thirty-plus years that he’s been gone. I still think about calling him when I have questions or challenges. He was a wise adviser, a great provider, a good man. I have fond memories that I hold dear of Saturdays at his office, automat lunches, watching for the church steeple on Sunday mornings for a penny. Smelling the “root beer trees” in the woods around our house and his battle with squirrels who always won. I cherish the memories.

rrsailingHe was only three years older than I am and I sure know that I’m not ready to die yet. I imagine he felt much the same. I hope that those of you who still have a father in your life take the time to spend time with your father today and as often as you can. (Your mother, too, if you’re that lucky!)

Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I sure do miss you.

Gone knitting.

 

Happy Mothers/Mother’s/Mothers’ Day!

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It’s hard to imagine that nearly a month has passed (again) since I’ve posted something about my knitting life – or anything about my life. I wish that I could say that I’ve been on an exotic trip to Africa or on a tour around Europe but I’ve been happily ensconced in my normal day-to-day life in Maine, USA.

Today is Mother’s Day. I heard from all five kids and have eaten my gift of Graeter’s Ice Cream (six flavors, all with chocolate chunks) twice a day since it arrived. I’ve been knitting less and resting my hands more. Sadly, I’ve got some arm aches that lead to thumb pain on Friday and that’s enough to make me slow down.

I took my Orange Peel quilt to the long arm machine yesterday and got it about half-quilted before something happened with the machine. Initially we thought it was a band slipping but as I worked, the noise got worse and it was bad enough to stop using it. With any luck, the repair man is coming on Thursday and maybe I can finish quilting on Friday after class.

I’ve been happy at work at the Yardgoods Center in Waterville. I’m in the store Tuesday and Thursday and I teach on Friday. I love our customers and I love working with creative people. We are participating in the first “Maine Yarn Cruise” this summer and we’ve been getting our planning done. Prizes, patterns, kits, etc. There is a lot of planning to do and 19 or so shops participating from around the state. I love teaching, too. I had 20 students last week – three of whom stayed all day – and I so enjoy helping my students conquer their knitting challenges and learn something new. I also enjoy stretching my own knitting knowledge. Each challenge that students bring to me are a new test of my skills as a knitter and I realize each time that I am really a good knitter, capable of figuring out just about anything that’s brought my way. Confidence building!

I am knitting and making progress.

I cast on for the Joji Locatelli “Starting Point MKAL” and have gotten about half-way through clue number 1. Trying to pace myself. More details will follow but you can also check me out in Ravelry (lindar). I’m nearly finished with a sweater for my sweetie. I’m knitting “Flax” by Tin Can Knits. What a great garment! I’ll have to make more. “Flax” is designed to be worked in worsted weight yarn. I’m using Ella Rae Classic Wool in a really pretty blue color. My husband will look wonderful in the blue! I’ve got most of one sleeve to complete and then the ribbing for two sleeves (after it’s tried on once more).

I have two pairs of socks on the needles – one cuff-down in a speckled yarn and a toe-up pair in Heritage Print by Cascade in Christmas colors. These are the socks that I taught in my adult ed class this past session. One class turned into two … two nights of teaching each week may be one of the reasons I haven’t been posting a whole lot! I also have started another pair of Miriam Felton’s “Footie Socks”. One down, one to go.

I’ve finished husband’s scarf and several “knitted knockers” (www.KnittedKnockers.org). Have also knitted a pair of socks for my new cousin. I’m in the process of making him a flannel quilt like I made for his big sister.

Image (1) knitting-002-199x300.jpg for post 1462My little dog, Lola, has had kennel cough and is now struggling with a goopy eye. Probably spring allergies. Both little dogs are heading to a new groomer on Wednesday and I’m sure that will help – we’re horribly over due for a hair cut! I’m working on finding a new hair dresser, too!

Moving to a new place is a challenge. I’m still working on finding all of the doctors, hair and nail people, groomers, veterinarians, stores to shop in, etc. But we are so glad that we moved to Maine. We are looking forward to more time on the front porch and summer visitors!

Gone knitting!

Spring in Maine

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The secondary roads are posted which means bright orange signs posted on telephone poles litter the rural scenery. In Maine this means it’s spring.

This weekend, despite the calendar date, we are going to get snow. Again. Initial reports were for 2-10 inches. And more, perhaps, later this week.

Even this girl has had enough and is ready for tulips. Which I forgot to plant last fall.

Welcome spring! Let it snow!

Gone knitting.

 

Back in the Saddle (again!)

Image (2) Tell-Yourself-253x300.jpg for post 1369Well, I’ve managed, with a lot of help from others, to get my blog back up and running. A HUGE thank you to Maureen C., my happiness engineer at WordPress.com, who was amazing! It’s really all to her credit that my blog is working again. Thanks, Maureen!

This has been a long and sometimes frustrating experience but it feels great to know that going back and forth between provider’s websites is now much more familiar to me.

Once again, in attempting to do something new, I have learned something valuable – stick with it. I can do it. I’m a “smart girl”. Too often I tend to talk to myself in a not-s0-positive way. If I can continue to remember that I wouldn’t say these things to my children and I won’t say them to myself, I’ll be happier and healthier!

Gone knitting.

Proud Mama!

You can tell I haven’t been knitting enough because I am blogging this week about WIPs, our new Big Brown Dog (Monk) and now being a proud mom. This is supposed to be a place where I write about knitting but it’s also my way of sharing bits and pieces of my life.

I have three big pieces of my life in my three children. The last few years haven’t always been easy. When parents go through a divorce, it directly affects a family and my kids have had some “issues” to deal with which have not been easy. It’s been difficult for me to be perceived as the “strong” parent because I’ve had to live a life without seeing them enough -I ‘m not sure there’s a chance of seeing them enough now that they’re grown and on their own. I have had to find peace living a life that’s radically different than the old one and especially around birthdays and holidays. But I am getting away from the purpose of this post …

Easter Day Daffodils on Fifth Avenue!

Easter Day Daffodils on Fifth Avenue!

We spent a weekend in New York City around Easter time and all three of my kids were there. I was thrilled to have them all in the same city and I am so proud of the people that they’re becoming! My youngest, my son, is in transition now and thinks he’s moving to New York. A terrifying prospect for a mom but he feels it’s time for him to give it a try – and why not try while your sister is there and you have a couch to land on! My younger daughter is my “body double” (maybe not today’s body, but even I see the likeness from when I was young!) and she’s got a real big job at a university in Chicago and seems to be content in her life there. My oldest one is why we were all there …

On January 1, she got engaged to long-time love, Spencer and one of the steps is to meet his family which we did. They’re great people and we will all support this wonderful couple. Our kids!

We also went to see my daughter in her first starring role on Broadway in “Rock of Ages”. The show has been on Broadway for a long time and is in the Helen Hayes Theater which is a small house, intimate and the perfect venue for this 80s rock party. I am proud of my girl who is living her dream and building a career. She’s got an amazing talent – and I’d like to take some credit for having encouraged her to do what she loves … and her beauty, too, of course!

This week I got a text messaged photograph.

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Yes, my kid is on a bus stop poster!

 

Yes, I’m one proud mama!

Gone Knitting!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I will not tolerate anything less. That’s all there is to it. It doesn’t matter what your excuse. I have worked hard and continue to work hard to treat people the way that I want to be treated. I am cheerful and positive and respectful. I don’t tolerate bullying or disrespect. I choose not to be part of groups who are critical and mean-spirited. I don’t even want to hear my knitting students speak negatively about themselves.

Life can be hard. I’ve lived through some tough times. Life can be wonderful. I’ve lived through some wonderful times. I truly believe that we create the world that we live in – and we can affect (effect?) the future by our present behavior and beliefs. I am choosing to be grateful for the wonderful things in my life. I am grateful for three healthy and productive children, some money in the bank, a job that I love, my little dogs, a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head. I have food in my belly and yarn in my atelier. I am so grateful for my family that is growing again this year. I feel so blessed.

I feel sorry for those who are not able to be grateful and positive. Those who have to criticize or bully because it only means that they’re not as blessed as I am and that they don’t feel gratitude for what they have that is positive in their life. Like the Grinch, my heart swells (grows?) when I think about how lucky I am. And while my life is not perfect – or without it’s challenges – I am thankful and happy and blessed.

Gone knitting!