Category Archives: Idle Chatter

En Français

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I have a French daughter.

OK … so she’s not really my daughter by birth but she feels like she’s one of my children. And she’s really French – born in France, lives in Paris.

Reunion 2011

Last summer Flo and her family (husband, Francois and baby boy, Oscar) arrived for a visit in Maine. It had been years since I’d seen her. Lots of years! Enough time for her to go from teenager to business woman, to wife and then mother.

We had a very sweet reunion in Maine … this picture is of the two of us in Bangor airport. What fun it was to see her again.

Today they’re coming back over and to Florida. I am leaving to meet them at the airport in a couple of minutes and the anticipation is making me crazy – crazier than usual! They’ll be here with us for a couple of days and then they’re headed to Miami and to see a bit of the state.

Boulette 2011

Last year in Maine it was freezing cold and rainy. Today in Florida it’s super hot and humid. Warm enough for a swim! Last year, Boulette was just starting to think about walking and he had a bath in the kitchen sink. This year he’ll be walking and dancing and we have a tub in this house. And a pool (I bought him some swimmies!)

I can hardly wait!

More Photos of my Nuno Scarf … All Done!

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Finished Product - I love it!

Felted and Fringed ... had to try both!

 

A Cluster or two of Flowers

 

My Wavy Little Bee

 

Around my Neck!

Finished! Yay!

This summer I’m going to take supplies up to our house in Maine and make a few more of these lovelies … maybe with my girls or my sisters-in-law … only time will tell. But I know I have found a new “addiction”! (Thanks, Terri!)

Gone knitting!

I need a Lesson in Forgiveness

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How do you forgive?

I know it’s not good or healthy for me to harbor anger and resentment and I’ve been working to release those feelings but they’re sometimes still hanging on and hanging in. I resent those people who have intentionally hurt me, who tell people things that are not true. Whose behavior hurts the people that I love. On some level, it’s funny to think that someone is so nasty and biting and has these preconceived notions about who I am without ever having gotten to know me. Someone who makes me the scapegoat in the failure of a marriage in order to be blameless themselves. Especially when the marriage was based on lies and secrets rather than love. Someone who blames me for the disintegration of their stability and their financial ruin and won’t be happy until I am broke too, perhaps?

I’m ready to move on. To move forward. To live with an eye looking forward and not back. Certainly not with regrets. I’ve done the best that I knew how every day. I’ve been honest with myself and others. I’ve been generous and given without strings.

So, tell me … how do you forgive?

“Worthy”, your honor!

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"Little Linda" - 1 year old

I grew up in a family that didn’t value females. I was born just shy of 2 years after my parents, then unmarried, gave up their firstborn son for adoption. I was born sixteen months before my younger brother – nearly my Irish twin! They welcomed another son five years after me. I continued that path of worthlessness when I married a man, now my ex, who didn’t value my contribution as a stay-at-home mom (despite significant support from my family in the difficult times).

In the years since my divorce, I’m learning that I am worthy. Have been all along. Unfortunately, nobody told me that I was wonderful and beautiful and smart and all the other good things that I was. Nobody really saw me. I was invisible. A girl sandwiched between a lost son and two more sons. I have come to believe that my parents were probably disappointed when their “firstborn” (at least the one they talked about publicly) was a girl. I didn’t quite measure up to the boy that they wanted. And I never really measured up in their eyes.

I read a wonderful blog post today and want to share it with my readers (I know you’re out there!) I’m sure I’m not the only one who will be grateful to read the insightful post by Danielle LaPorte on the Positively Positive website this morning. Her blog is titled, “A Declaration of Deserving … Just Because You’re Here“. It confirms to me what I have come to believe and made me smile this morning through tears of gratitude. Because I’m learning that I’ve always been worthy and I can now feel worthy … just because I’m here.

Gone Knitting!

Defining a Life

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Healthy, Happy, Whole

Sometimes people disappoint you. Sometimes you disappoint people. I was asked today what it was that I would never forgive myself for … and when I answered, I found myself in tears. I always know that when the tears come, I’ve hit a truth. But the good news is that I am healing. After a long marriage to a man who bullied me (as my father did), I am healing. That feels so good. I’m starting to come into my own.

I’ve always felt that I am a strong woman. That I’m capable. That I’m a good mother and partner. I am a good sister, daughter, friend. But I’ve looked to others for confirmation. No longer. I do need to know that I can provide for myself … I can earn a living and don’t have to be dependent on anybody else for my support. It may be a choice but it’s not my “lot in life”.

Not again. Never again.

I will not be bullied. I will not be defined by others. My opinion matters and I need not look to others for my value. I am enough. I am worthy of great things. I am loveable, strong, important. Everything is going to be alright. The time is now. The best is yet to come!

Gone knitting.

Friends and Fresh Eggs

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What a fabulous day we had today …

A breakfast of fresh eggs (some still warm from the chickens) and the company of friends.

Multicolored Eggs - Fresh from the Chicken

And then, as if that’s not enough wonderful for one day, we went to the RV Show at the Volusia County Fairgrounds. For five bucks, I walked in to heaven! I’ve posted before about my “RV envy” situation … well, today I got to walk in and around dozens of RVs and 5th Wheels and Travel Trailers. I was so excited I felt like a little kid … all wound up and ready to jump up and down and clap my hands.

It was a blast!

Gone knitting.

Knitting Reunion

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I am a knitter. I learn from other knitters … about knitting and life!

Last night my original Florida knitting group got together again. One of our members has moved out of town, had a baby, moved on. Not that the rest of us couldn’t got on without her, but the whole group kind of folded. Different priorities. Changing lives. Babies taking the place of sticks and string. As it should be.

But last night she was back in town for a conference and some of us gathered again for a time (a late time!) It was fun. And I didn’t knit a stitch. Didn’t even get my knitting bag into the living room. A glass of wine and the company of good women.

Knitting has brought me together with some remarkable people … Liang, Lindsay, Kelly, Kristen, the Jennifers, Cindi, Bob, Jeff, Karen, Beth, Bonnie, Annie, Pat, Betty, Pam … there are so many. Each teaching me something along the way.

Last night’s group was younger than me and they teach me to look back and appreciate my wisdom. I have lived well, was (am) a good mother, am bright, valuable and valued.

Life is good.

Gone knitting.

Hypocrisy?

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So, this guy got pretty puffed up about the commentator at the Republican Primary debate’s question about his ex-wife.

As much as I, too, don’t think it’s responsible journalism to start a presidential debate with such a question … I find it a bit hypocritical that a man who has had multiple wives, and who appears to have made some rather outrageous (just sayin’) suggestions within at least one of those marriages would believe that he can write laws about who can marry whom … or anything else for that matter. I believe that the President of the United States should be held to a higher moral calling. Overlapping a marriage and another sexual relationship does not fit that bill.

Gone political … now I’m going to knit.

 

 

 

On Mothers’ Labor

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A Woman's Work... ?

Here’s to the mothers who work on Labor Day … and the other holidays, at night, 24/7/365.

I was a stay-at-home mom for 20 years or more and on this Labor Day weekend, I would like to pay tribute to those working moms (many of whom do not get a pay check for a job well done) who give up a piece of themselves every day to build a strong-bodied, competent, compassionate, happy, productive child. It’s not an easy job – and there is certainly no paid vacation and the benefits are few and far between.

When I was a stay-at-home mom, I wore many hats: cook, cleaning lady, laundress, nurse, chef, personal shopper, personal assistant, secretary (for a group of four), therapist, doctor, taxi driver, teacher, CEO, CFO, community and school volunteer, etc. I loved that jobs and I’d take it back in a heartbeat. Only problem is, now that I’m single, that kisses and hugs will not pay my health insurance (or any other) bill!

The hours were long, the pay was practically nonexistent but I loved it. Too bad that it isn’t a job that’s sufficiently valued so that when this job is phased out, there’s not really any severance pay.

So, today, I honor those moms, like me, who work day in and day out for hugs and kisses (and many who work at a “real” job, too). If moms ruled the world, wouldn’t it be a better place!?

Gone knitting!