Tag Archives: Family

On Summer

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Firefly!

The first thing I think about when I think about summer is fireflies (second only to honeysuckle and other flowers and the call of loons and swimming and …)

I remember collecting them when I was a child and then passing on my love of these brilliant bugs to my children. We’d get a great big glass or plastic jar and punch lots of holes in the lid for air. They’d fill the bottom with grass and sticks and leaves and then the fun really begins – collecting the bugs and watching them light up. Running around outside in the dark (without the fear of stepping in dog poop) and the squeals of glee when, “I caught one!” was called. It was always such fun to watch their little faces peering into their jar watching the bugs light. They (and we) would have been outside all night – or at least until all the bugs were caught or asleep!

When I was a kid, I always wanted to take them to my room and keep them for a night light … and in the morning they were all dead (or nearly dead) and I’d release them anyway. (Because we all know that miracles happen.) I don’t remember my kids taking them inside to die. I think we were more concerned with teaching them to respect all living things and that the reality is that they’ll die in captivity. Real world, heartbreaking reality. But it helped my kids turn into compassionate human beings.

Lightning bugs still are harbingers of summer in my mind and there’s nothing better than a lovely summer night when the fireflies are out and I remember the wonderful days when my children were little and passing on the traditions of collecting fireflies. Gotta love summer!!!

Loom Dude's Knitted Firefly

Here’s a compatriot’s pattern for knitting fireflies! What a wonderful idea, Loom Dude! Click HERE to flit over to the Loom Dude’s blog to collect the pattern!

Enjoy what’s left of your summer!

Gone knitting!

Wondering …

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… whether to maintain my Etsy shop or move my knitwear items to my website.

… why some people can’t seem to share.

… how people who love each other (or did one day) can be so hateful.

… why people can’t leave their children out of it.

… if it’s going to be cooler today.

… what to have for breakfast.

… to knit or study?

… how to make my love of knitting and people and martinis and little dogs into a business that will support me.

… when I’ll see all three of my kids next.

… how to make this blog more interesting (and get more readers.)

Ugh. Study time. Four more chapters. I can do this.

Increases (Stitches and Residents)

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I’ve been making a pair of Bella Mittens (and they’re quite lovely) from the free pattern on Ravelry but you can find them on Marielle Henault’s blog by clicking here. I really like the way they’re knitting up and the yarn that I bought for them at Halcyon Yarns in Bath is really soft and a pretty color. I’m quite pleased.

One of the things I like best about the pattern is the way that Marielle does her increases in the thumb gusset. I’ve made a bunch of gloves and mittens and never were the directions (at least it’s my perception) so clear. And she has designed using M1, one is a left-leaning increase and one a right-leaning increase which makes the added stitches look so pretty on the finished garment.

The left-leaning increase or M1L is made by using the left needle to pick up the stitch between the two needles from the front to the back and then knitting into the back of the stitch. Thus adding a stitch.

The right leaning increase is just a tiny bit different – you pick up the stitch from the back to the front and then knit into the front of the stitch. Notice how each different increase leans slightly to the left or right … cool, huh?

The end result is a really nice looking gusset (once you’ve increased a few times, you’ll see the pretty pattern developing. This can really be used in any mitten or glove pattern where there are increases for the thumb gusset and they make the piece look so professionally done. Imagine caring about the garment that you are making?! 🙂

So, now that you’ll be practicing your increases, the residents in our home will also be increasing. My brothers all arrive with their wives, families and dogs on Thursday evening. We can hardly wait – although our dogs will be a bit less comfortable with all the cousins around. My eldest daughter is also coming with her boyfriend and dog. We’ll be ten adults, three children and eight dogs. One brother and two sisters (I’ve told you before how I don’t like the in-law tag, right? I believe that my brother’s wife is my sister and that’s just that. Having been an in-law for almost 30 years, I never was made to feel an equal in their family and I don’t want that in my family) … as I was saying, my oldest brother and two of my sisters, happens to be the two newest ones, have never been to Maine. So, we’ll be eating a lot of lobster and touring our old stomping grounds from when we were kids. The house will be full of fishermen and women, knitters, dogs, dirt, laundry, cooks, dish washers and lots and lots of love.

I feel so blessed to have my family growing exponentially after the age of 50 … and it’s just not my kids who are adding those family members! Maybe that’s the coolest part of all. One new sister by marriage and a new big brother and sister by miracle.

Life is good!

Gone knitting!

Paris, here I come (I hope)

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So, it’s a long story but I’m entering a contest and I could win a trip to Paris for two! Yikes! How cool is that?!

Suffice it to say that I’d love to visit Paris. It’s been on my bucket list for ages and now that I have my first “grand baby” to visit over there, it’d be even more wonderful. Seeing Flo and Francois, Laure and Stan and darling little Olivia, Elise and her husband and Boston Terrier, meeting Marie France and Claire (finally) – O.M.G! It would be wonderful to win.

So, here’s the link if you’d like to win – Oh Happy Day Goes to Paris -I’m all about sharing the wealth (and if you win, you must take the Queen Bee!) Good luck!

My fingers are crossed. It’s going to be tough knitting today! 🙂

 

On Losing One’s Self

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I’m reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Committed. If you’ve ever been married, are married or are thinking about getting married one day, it’s a good read and may teach you a thing or two about the institution of marriage. Ultimately, her story has a happy ending …

Click on the Amazon "ad" to the right if you'd like to purchase this book!

Gilbert’s first marriage ended, suffice it to say, in a flaming ball of fire. And upon falling in love a second time, she was skeptical about entering into another marriage. I can get this! Having “failed” once, who wants to go running back for more? I don’t care how much one loves somebody, it’s a frightening concept to try again at something that didn’t work the first time.

Some of Gilbert’s research is interesting and I hadn’t realized that men benefit more from being married than women do (although it makes sense.) Apparently men are happier, healthier and more financially stable when they are married. Women, however, don’t benefit nearly as well. Income is likely to drop by seven percent for married women. They are more likely to suffer from depression and die in a catastrophic accident. Maybe because most married women are so stretched … working, caring for a husband, children and home is a lot of work and the book says that most men don’t share equally in the household or child-rearing responsibilities. It is also said that women who wait to get married until they’re more established are more likely to be happier when they’re married. So, having read most of this quick read, my advice to women is WAIT!

I was a “baby” when I got married at twenty-two and had my first child when I was twenty-six. I absolutely agree with Gilbert that you can lose yourself in marriage. Especially when there are children. I have been reclaiming myself for the last few years. I’m not saying that I have regrets because being able to stay at home and parent my three kids was a blast. I really enjoyed it and I was (and am) a good parent. Anyway, I loved volunteering in my community and we had a great neighborhood babysitting co-op when the kids were little so I had a great support system. My children became my life and I let myself slip to the back of the line. Everyone else’s needs came first (partly because they were more vocal, I think) and I didn’t understand the premise that if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t care for everyone else. Needless to say, when my youngest went off to school, my world came crashing down in a horrible bout of depression that put me in bed for nearly six weeks. It was debilitating and frightening and there were times when I truly believed that I was going to die. One of my doctors wanted to do a spinal tap and that’s what sent me to a new doc who diagnosed my with depression and put  me on medication and, sure enough, after a couple of weeks I was able to get myself out of bed and out into the sunshine and back into life. It was the start of me taking time for myself and investing in myself – I started walking regularly and seeing a great therapist (or three) who have helped guide me to knowing myself.

I’ve been extremely fortunate to be able to get off the meds and haven’t had a relapse in years. I used to have a bit of a “down turn” at the end of summer when the kids went back to school. No dancing in the aisles at Staples for me! I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and can get upset, don’t get me wrong. I’ve spent several days at a time in my house/apartment/condo when my mother died and I was grieving. I did the same several months later when we buried her. The good news is that I know where to go when I need to get help and I now have the tools that I need to get myself back “on track”. I’m a lot happier when I remember to do something for me … and my knitting feeds that piece!

And now, I find myself in love with a man who (I think) would like to get married again. Some days I feel like that would be wonderful and some days not so much. Isn’t living together enough? So, I continue to invest in myself and follow my heart …

Free Knitting Pattern (and a little lesson)

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You may (or may not) know that I had my French daughter, her husband and baby boy here for a visit. We’d not seen each other for more than ten years and it was a wonderful reunion. I am continually amazed by how you can reconnect with people with whom you’ve lost touch over the years and, if they’re also willing, can start over where you left off!

It was as if no time had passed. (Well, except for the fact that she found a husband and has a baby!) We laughed and cried, ate, talked, shopped … a trip to TJ Maxx, Walmart and Wendy’s were some highlights. At Wendy’s N taught “la boulette” to dip his fries in ketchup! To watch a really cute short video, click here: bouletteatw

Happy Boulette bathes in the kitchen sink!

When it came time to put them on the airplane, the tears were just like those shed in years past. I’d “forgotten” how much I love “my kids” and how much it hurts to say “good bye”. But at the same time, how wonderful is it that I have this little family that isn’t really mine but feels like it!? And I know we’ll be together again (hopefully, soon!)

Bet you thought that I’d forgotten the free knitting pattern, didn’t you?

Nope! Here it is! This is perhaps an ugly blanket because I had to use yarn that I had here and it was very last minute when I realized that a warm blanket was going to be needed – badly needed!

“La Boulette” Blanket (an Original Queen Bee Knits design)

Needles: size 15 circular needle (or larger or smaller to fit your yarn)

Yarn: Vanna’s Choice by Lion Brand 4 skeins, knitted with yarn doubled throughout. (Note: this is a very simple blanket, knitted on the bias. It will make a square blanket and could be knit with ANY yarn and needles appropriate to the yarn weight. Just knit as in the pattern directions until it’s the width that you want and then start the decreases! Easy!)

Blanket Directions:

Cast on 4 sts.
K2, YO, K to end
Turn and K2, YO, K to end of row
Repeat these two rows (which are actually identical) until the blanket is the width that you want.

Middle

K2, YO, K2tog, K to end of row
Turn
Repeat the last row three times more (total of four rows)

now it’s decrease time!

K2, YO, K2tog, knit to 4 sts before end of row, K2tog, K2
Turn
Repeat the last row until there are 4 sts on the needles (decreasing one stitch in each row)
Cast off 4 sts
Weave in all ends

And here’s the little lesson …

How do you count rows when you’re knitting all rows (otherwise known as stockinette stitch)?

Counting Rows for Stockinette Stitch

Each “pair” of bumps, one looks like it arches up like the letter “u” and the other arches down, is a row. In this photo, there are five bump pairs which means that you’ve knitted ten rows … hunh? you say? Yes, you’ve knitted ten rows because there is a corresponding bump on the back of the fabric, too. For each row you see on one side of the fabric, there is a bump on the other side of the fabric when you knit “back”. See what I mean?

Try knitting a few rows. Yup, take out your needles and a single strand of yarn (the sample above is a double strand of yarn). Cast on about 20 stitches and knit across them. Then knit back again. Now … look at what you have. You’ve knitted two rows and there are two “pairs of bumps” one on the right side and one on the wrong side.

If you don’t get it, comment on this post and I’ll illustrate further!

But for now, I’ve gone knitting!

 

 

Rock-a-bye Baby

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I had the honor of rocking a baby to sleep yesterday.

I was in “hog heaven” as N. put it. “La Boulette” was having trouble staying asleep whether from being in a different place, adjusting to a different time zone, new teeth, or something else. He was pooped. When his parents went upstairs to have a nap, I got the baby all to myself and when he picked up his bottle I nabbed his little body and sat with him on my lap in the rocking chair …

My Gram was the only one I’ve ever known who had the heart, the patience and the calm to rock a baby for just as long as the baby wanted or needed. She could rock my first baby – who wouldn’t sit for anything or anyone and was constantly on the go. But she would sit with Gram in her easy chair and rock until the cows came home. Gram would just hum a little song or simply respond to K’s chatter and K would pass from bright-eyed to sleepy-eyed to gonzo. Gram was the one who, despite not having a “pot to piss in”, would buy you the sun and the moon if you asked her. But you didn’t need to ask. Just knowing that you were loved made it unnecessary. She was always my biggest cheerleader! I’m so grateful that I had her in my life.

So “la boulette” and I rocked for an hour or so. Kissed his silky soft hair, smelled his baby skin. I’m not sure that there’s anything more wonderful. He slept and I remembered my Gram. It was a wonderful day!

On Doing the Right Thing

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I just finished reading another wonderful Jodi Picoult (I just learned that you pronounce it “peek-o”) novel entitled, Sing You Home. I am a total Jodi Picoult fan and have read most if not all of her books. I’d say this one appealed to me a lot and parallels my life in several ways.

I was married for nearly 27 years to a man who I thought was my partner for life. About 9 years ago I uncovered an affair which was devastating. We separated because he didn’t want to give up the person he was having the affair with. A year later, he decided he wanted the marriage and said that he’d ended the other relationship but I found out differently and made the decision to divorce in late 2006.

At about the same time, my first love and I reconnected – he found me on the Internet (go figure!) Anyway, after several months of emails, phone calls and visits, I decided to move to Florida (ancient history now) and found part-time work while I finished my college degree. And then the bottom of the American economy fell out. I’ve become a “long term unemployed” who is making the best of life by building a business that I hope will sustain me in the near future!

Divorce is a strange experience. I never (ever, in a million years) thought I would be divorced. We find ourselves in odd situations for the benefit of the children. Being divorced is not easy. In many ways we’re still a family but everything has changed. Negotiations abound. Recently, my ex has decided to renig on an agreement and stopped paying our daughter’s college loan. Somehow, in the divorce, this loan became my responsibility despite the fact that I had always said that we’d help with the repayment of loans if we were able. Anyway, I’d be delighted to pay the loan if my situation were different. I fully never expected to be unable to find adequate employment for such a long time. I have trouble understanding why, with no warning, no phone call, no text, no nothing, he simply stopped paying the loan. By the time the collection calls began, the loan was more than 30 days late and a week until the next payment was due. And at the end of April we sat across the table celebrating our son’s 21st birthday and he never said a word.

While we were married and the children were young, he had a period of unemployment and I used my “inheritance” to support our family. I didn’t think twice about it, I didn’t ask for anything in return. I did it because it was the right thing to do. “My” money provided us with a down-payment on our first home, renovated another home we purchased and then sold for the mortgage the first time he became unemployed, and provided another down-payment on our home in Ohio when he found employment again. “My” money. “Earned” after the loss of my father. But given openly and freely to help our family. Now that the tide has turned, I’m unemployed, and he’s got an inheritance that could help with this loan if he so chose. Rather, it appears that he is choosing to hurt me. I’m not sure if his intent is to destroy my relationship with my daughter or to ruin me financially – why else would he not have told me that he was going to stop the payments? What he doesn’t seem to see is that he is also hurting our daughter in the process. I am at a loss … Five years later, is he still so bitter that I left the marriage (not like there was a choice when he couldn’t be faithful) that he wants to see me miserable? His parents left everything to him and asked him to “take care of the kids” and his nieces, too. They would want him to take care of their granddaughter. They valued family (at least their “blood”) and I believe that his father, in particular, would be most ashamed of this self-centered behavior.

All of this circles back to the book … don’t worry, I’m getting there. I don’t want to give away the end of the story but suffice it to say that you won’t be able to put it down. Picoult is a phenomenal word smith and addresses what may be her most controversial subject yet, gay rights with a bit of evangelical religion thrown in. Her character development is outstanding and I always find myself caring for the characters in her books … even if I don’t always agree with them. I think Picoult handles this issue with dignity and honesty.

The world we live in is not a perfect place but the choices that people make every day can make it better. Kinder. More caring. I can’t help but believe that we feel better about ourselves when we behave in a caring way toward others … when we do the right thing. I hope my ex will help his daughter and will work with us to find a solution that will be a “win” for each of us. Dealing with issues with an open heart can make the world a better place and allow families grow and heal.

Crazy Socks … Northward Ho!

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An uneventful trip north this year. Orlando to Atlanta to Cincinnati to Belgrade!

Day 1- Atlanta and a brief overnight visit with the best “Roomie” in the world, my friend Carrie. She’s about the only brave soul who would have us visit with our four-legged brood. And especially with the crazy old Cushingoid cocker who is like having seventeen puppies all rolled into one – we’re never sure if he’s housebroken or if he’ll eat the paintings off the wall.

Day 2 – Cincinnati and a 21st Birthday dinner with my son, my ex-husband and his boyfriend. Long story short, my ex had picked the dinner spot and it was obscenely expensive and not the most wonderful food ever. Over $500 for five and we only had a glass of wine and my ex’s boyfriend doesn’t drink. The plus side was, however, that I got to spend a few hours with my son. He is a very special kid and I was so happy to see him.

Day 3 – Rochester, NY which is on the way to Maine and there’s nothing special there. It was so windy, however, that the Hobie Cat was blowing away (and the sail wasn’t even up!)

trying to relaxThis is a photo from the back seat on day 4 on the way to Marblehead, MA and my youngest brother and his family. Too bad my little boy isn’t getting relaxed in the back seat! He does make us laugh with his antics. We love to visit my brother and his family. My three nephews are growing taller and handsomer every time we see them. Ninth grade, sixth grade and fifth grade this year and they’re all involved in various sports, etc. Ski and snowboarding season is now over so it’s time for track and baseball. Max (our Cocker) got bitten by Caspian (my brother’s German shepherd) who he fought for a ball but still a fun albeit brief visit.

in the bag?One more photo from day 5 when we stopped at LL Bean this is what I found in the back seat. My little boy, again, this time he’s chosen to sit in my computer bag instead of the seat … go figure. We had to stop in Freeport to get a warm jacket (we also found a jacket for poor old Max who’s losing his hair and shivers or shakes all the time, a couple of gifts for later this summer, and I found a great corduroy shirt that I’ve coveted … and it was on sale! Woo HOO!) After a quick lunch, on to Belgrade and “opening camp”. It’s a lot of work but it seemed like more this year. By the time we got the first floor of the house all wiped down and disinfected and swept out (not too much mouse evidence this year and no skulls), the furniture unwrapped, sopped up the puddle on the bed from the leaking master bedroom roof, and then unpacked the car and put away the groceries, we were beat! Thank God for the good old electric blanket. We climbed into bed and slept like babies and I didn’t get up until nearly 8 am which is unusual because we have no window coverings on the windows and it gets light early here! I did hear the loons calling in the middle of the night but it’s such a sweet sound, I smiled and rolled over.

I had a lot of fun knitting a second pair of stash-busting crazy socks on the way up here. They’re really cute. The first pair went to my sister, Kathy, for her birthday. This pair will likely be a gift for some lucky soul, too. I think they’re fun and they certainly are colorful! The best news is that I still have a ton more bits and pieces of sock yarn to make a few more pairs.

Another 1976 miles of road trip adventure … (ha! That was the year Ned and I first started dating. Coincidence? Maybe. Maybe not! Life is good!

 

All My Bags Are NOT Packed

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Peter, Paul and Mary had it all … and they must have had some help if they always had their bags packed. I am not ready and here I sit at my desk, blogging away!

This little Yankee can’t waste a couple of rotting bananas so I had to bake some gluten-free banana blueberry muffins this morning. Killed two birds with one stone because I also used up the fresh Florida blueberries from Costco! And then I decided that a batch of “Mom’s Best” Granola was in order for the boy who’s turning 21 on Wednesday. His big gift will arrive on it’s own. I feel so lucky that we’re able to travel and that I can spend a couple hours with my “baby” on his special day.

All these years later, I’ve got some serious regrets that I didn’t wait until he was out of high school before I left Cincinnati. It would have only been a year … of course at the time, my head was reeling, my heart was wounded (and I was sure it was beyond repair) and I had this wonderful man who wanted me with him … or at least in the same town. I also thought that his father would “step up” and take the parenting seriously (since he hadn’t done too much of it when I was there). Not so much. What nobody realized – not me, not his/our therapist – was how much he was drinking and what a mess he really was. He could barely care for himself after my departure and he certainly didn’t do a great job of taking care of my son. I would never have left if I’d realized how poorly cared for my son would be – and that he was going to have to depend on friends on a regular basis. Neither did I realize how hurt he’d be when I left. I knew him as an independent kid who was seldom home. I was alone all the time in that big old house. Housing choices were not plentiful and it was expensive. But, today, looking back with my 20/20 hindsight vision, it would have been a good choice to stay for my son’s sake.

Over the course of the past four years, he’s graduated from high school, successfully completed (nearly) three years of an extremely competitive and demanding college curriculum and learned to brew beer in his apartment, cook like a professional chef, and dress to the nines. I’m really proud of the young man that he’s becoming and I hope he’s proud of himself.

I’m trying to do whatever it takes to rebuild a relationship with my boy. I love him more than life itself and I wish I could go back and un-do what I did. Sadly, it’s done and now I can only try to show him how much he means to me … even if it means spending an extra day or two in the car on an already long trip so I can have dinner with him on his 21st birthday. Happy Birthday (almost) Boy!