Tag Archives: gratitude

Road Trip! The Kindness of Strangers

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My grand-dog, Mabel, always happy to ride in the car!

This weekend, I put a lot of miles on my daughter’s car, took some long subway rides, knitted in public and watched my son (my youngest child) graduate from college.

I wanted to blog really badly when I arrived in New York at my daughter’s apartment. But didn’t bring my laptop and was sure NOT going to attempt a blog entry on my phone. So, now that it’s not as fresh, I want to mention that I was struck by how many people on the uptown A train (express from Howard Beach to 190th Street) were kind to each other!

When I lived in New York and was pregnant with my first child, I remember long train rides, standing. I was the size of a subway car for goodness sake … and nobody seemed to notice my balloon legs and Omar-the-tentmaker “dress”? But I am happy to report that kindness (and manners) are alive and well in 2012. A gentleman in a suit got up and gave his seat to a woman with a tiny baby on her chest (in a baby carrier – get your head out of the gutter!) Another man gave his seat for the woman’s little girl. An older lady nearly fell into the lap of a woman seated. Rather than copping an attitude, the lady helped her sit and said it was “no problem”. It was sweet to see! I’d likely have written more if my mind was still fresh but alas, it’s not!

Thursday plane, train and subway from Maine to my daughter’s apartment in Washington Heights (Manhattan). Friday a ten-hour drive from New York to Cincinnati. Saturday brunch, graduation and dinner. I also managed some knitting in public both on my son’s porch and at Starbucks! Sunday the return ten-hour drive from Cincinnati to New York – with a lovely traffic jam only five miles from my daughter’s apartment that delayed our Tony watching for over an hour! And today, subway, train and plane back to Maine! Lots of travel for a momentous occasion … my last child’s graduation from college! That means three have successfully completed four years of college and they all are employed! I am one proud mom!

I made a lovely new knitting friend at my gate this afternoon. I believe it’s safe to say that I have never met a knitter I don’t like! She’s from New York State and was heading to Maine on business. On her needles a shawl (pattern had no photo … brave soul!) and in her suitcase, a pair of socks in progress. A woman after my own heart! Her 401k is being earmarked for yarn while her husband’s will pay for retirement. Hey, a girl on a fixed income has got to have a stash of yarn to knit with! I say, that is mighty good planning! We had a great chat and agreed that when traveling we both plan and pack our knitting first!

As nice as it is to travel, I will be happy to sleep in my own bed tonight. Listening to my little Lola snore. I am grateful for friends who open their houses to this Queen Bee and for precious time spent with my children. Tonight I’m too tired to even download photos. So, suffice it to say, I’m not knitting … but I’m going … to bed! 🙂

Memorial Day (and Every Day) Gratitude

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Boathouse ... Our Flag Flies Every Day

Ned painted the flag on the side of our boathouse several years ago. Some days we go about our business without so much as a glance. Days like today, however, I look at it and feel so grateful to my father and the other Veterans (and soldiers) who have fought and are fighting for our freedom.

My father fought on a battleship in World War II. He was a gunnery soldier and shared stories about living on the ship where they had a pet monkey and the men dressed in drag to perform plays for fun. Dad didn’t like monkeys (they were dirty) and he never ate another hotdog, having had them “up to here” during his service.

The captain of Dad’s ship was a “drunkard” and I have pages and pages in his handwriting of charges that dad would have filed against the man. We may never know if any of those charges of abuse, drunk and disorderly, etc. were officially filed or if my dad just wrote them down for himself. (He did become a lawyer, after all!) Somewhere I have a map of his tour of the South Pacific that he made and I’m sorry to have given away or sold his uniforms and the “treasures” that he brought back with him. Only now do I recognize their value. Family heirlooms today that I would be grateful to hold and preserve for my family.

Many of my Rockwell forebears were also soldiers. Bits and pieces of historical documents  are in my safe-keeping and one day I’ll get them scanned and shared in another blog. One a soldier in the Revolutionary War who was called to duty in the summer of 1776 … check this out! From the State of Connecticut 1907. I believe that Julia L. Rockwell was my grandfather’s sister or his mother making the soldier my great or great-great-grandfather … though I don’t have the genealogy to confirm that here! (I will confirm at a later date.)

What!? You can’t read the old handwriting?! 🙂 I had to work at it, but here is what I think it says:

Oct. 24,1907 

Dear Madam, 

Enclosed find corrected certificate. (a clerical error in former) Records at best are somewhat meagre, Troops were hastily summoned from the floors and the workshops and in this particular case company with, other was raised to serve “until the exigency was over” In summer of 1776. Washington was in need of a large force to meet the enemy’s threatened attack upon New York.

 Very Rightly, (?)

 William EF Landers

Adjutant General

Cool, yes?

Suffice it to say that I am proud to be American today – and every day. I am grateful to my family members who have answered the call. My father, my great- or great-great-grandfather (?), Bud King (who is the Grand Marshal of the Oakland, ME parade today … he’s the oldest living veteran in Oakland) and Bethany, Jordan, and all the rest who have served or are serving  … Thank you for your service!

Gone knitting!

Road Trip!

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Here I am in my northern “Atelier” … and I feel driven (ha! no pun intended) to chronicle our road trip – another excellent adventure! Our annual pilgrimage to our favorite spot on the planet Earth – Belgrade, Maine.

We took off on Tuesday morning, a day earlier than we had planned to leave because we got “worried” about the Memorial Day weekend traffic. Call it a gut feeling. And the drive was uneventful which is a good thing when you’re towing a Hobie Cat and have three dogs in the car! We got as far as Richmond, Virginia where we stopped the first night – we love dog-friendly LaQuinta Hotels! A ten hour drive in twelve (or so hours) is always tenuous … but we do it well!

Day two began in Richmond and we had no plan for where it was going to end. BUT when we looked at the map and since we got an early start (very early, thanks to Max) … we thought we might make it to Connecticut.

Washington Monument Straight Ahead!

And then we hit Washington, DC and made a “wrong turn” … what’s the deal with road signs in our nations capital? We ended up in a traffic jam and in downtown Washington … with a boat and trailer. Really!?

Ha! Wrong turns lead to interesting blog photos!

Thankfully, we can laugh at our mistakes and on we pushed toward New York where we had another near miss on the New Jersey Turnpike and darn near ended up in Manhattan … but managed to pull off a “fix” and swing around via the Garden State Parkway and headed over the Tappan Zee Bridge.

Tappan Zee Traffic over the Hudson

Once over on the New York side, we realized we could make Massachusetts and pushed on … another 13 hour day but we were at my brother’s house around 8 … and we adore being in Marblehead. (If you’ve never been to the North Shore of Boston, you have got to make a trip … Marblehead is the sweetest town and a great place to escape to when you need to get away!)

Marblehead Harbor - Evening

After a night with our family – the nephews, dogs, and their parents – we headed off one more time … picked up the boat and spied on the movie people who are filming the movie “Grown Ups” there … with Adam Sandler and Salma Hayek. (I had to spy!)

Hooking up the trailer - last time!

Movie Stars in Marblehead

The last leg of our journey included dropping a box of books off for a knitting friend of mine. These books belonged to her mother, now deceased, and she just felt that the books needed to be returned to Gloucester, MA (where they came from). So, up Route 128 we headed to Gloucester … and dropped off the books at Isabel’s house. Ned and I both remarked at how special it is to live in towns where you don’t have to lock your doors. Raising children in towns like that must be very special.

And then I saw this sign …

Coveted Yarn - Gloucester, MA

What knitter could resist? Not this one, that’s for sure. So into the shop I wander… Heaven! Coveted Yarn is a sweet shop that looks teeny-tiny and is really packed to the rafters (cleverly so!) with the most wonderful fibers and yarns! I could easily have spent the better part of the day there fingering fiber … but had to settle for an hour and hope one day soon to be able to get back! (Maybe to meet Isabel, too!) I bought some of their locally dyed yarns … one skein of sock weight and two bulky weight in magnificent color ways and a pattern, too. (Nope, not sharing, it’s a gift for someone really, really special!) I can hardly wait to get my needles unpacked.

And then off to Maine … with a little luncheon stop at Stop and Shop – did you know that grocery stores offer some more healthy choices on the quick? ~ we had eaten enough junk the day before! Only a couple of hours more and we were in Maine … crossing the last bridge of our trip!

Piscataqua River Bridge - Welcome to Maine!

Upon arriving at the house, we always sigh a sigh of relief. It was still standing  … 100 years and counting  … this house has been the one constant for Ned and we spent some special time here when we dated the first time (in 1976). I feel very much at home in New England.

The Littles - Glad to be Out of the Car!

The lawn was (and parts still are) knee-high. Buttercups, little white daisies and dandelions are blooming everywhere!

The vegetable garden was (until tomorrow) completely over-taken with weeds.

Only the "seedy" rhubarb is visible in the Vegetable Garden!

After several hours cleaning and disinfecting and moving in groceries and clothes and yarn (duh!) and when our backs couldn’t do another chore, we showered and it was cocktail time. A bit too breezy to spend more than a cursory few minutes on the front porch … we are so grateful to be able to spend time here in this beautiful place that we love so much. I’ll be writing more about our summer adventures – my knitting group meets on Wednesday night and I’m already itching to see my Maine knitting girls!

Gone knitting!

New on the Needles

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I bought some yummy cotton yarn to make myself a Drops knitted tunic that I saw somewhere online when I was wandering. The pattern is a free Ravelry download. The yarn was on sale (serious sale! I think it was $3.99 a skein!) at WEBS. It’s Berroco’s Pure Pima (color #2243 “Barely Blue”). I love that Jimmy Bean’s sent me a bag and matched the dye lots of the extra few skeins. It’s a pretty sky blue color with a bit of a gray undertone and I really like it. The pattern is found here!


Classic and simple patterning … I loved the yellow but my mother always said that when I wore yellow I looked green. I don’t want to look green!

Will be winding a skein and doing a swatch … because I know that if I don’t swatch, I will make the sweater in the wrong size! I guess I had best measure my chest, too … just in case! (Note to self – gauge is not for wussies!)

Also trying a pair of baby socks by Cat Bordhi – you can find out all about Cat at her website CatBordhi dot com. All of a sudden, I have an interest in knitting baby things … could be that there’s a new little niece or nephew in the oven!? Anyway, it’s the Baby Life Rings socks and they’re cuter than cute. Found some Cascade Yarns Fixation (also at WEBS) in a couple of colors … color #9030 (“denim”, if my memory serves) and color #9936 (“pacific”in really great ocean colors.) It looks like they’ll stay on the baby feet with three rings around the ankles. Always an issue for new parents, keeping feet on those wiggle pigs … I aim to please!

Already on the needles, my son’s socks. I’ll report on the yarn … because it’s not making this knitter happy. I’ve never had a ball of sock yarn “fight” with me quite so much! Promised by his graduation in June … who can believe that my baby will be graduating from college? And the baby blanket – reversible cables in a white acrylic yarn (to make it easier to wash over and over!)

Finished – a pair of lobster mittens (cooked, of course!) and two pairs of slipper socks. Also finished is a dishcloth … ours are getting pretty yucky! Photos will come soon … maybe tomorrow!

Grateful for fingers that work.

Gone knitting!

Future Knitting

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I haven’t been doing a whole lot of knitting that I “want” to do … rather, it’s been knitting that I have been doing for others. Often for work. And I’m so grateful for the friends and family members and even some perfect strangers who have bought my work!

This summer, I want to do some holiday knitting and crafting. I also want to make a tea cosy or two … just because I really like them. I may even be able to design one for my shop! But I’m starting to think about what yarn I need (and what I could use that I already have) for these projects!

I love new projects!

Gone knitting.

Moved to Tears

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Several times in the last week or so, I’ve been moved to tears.

Those who really know me wouldn’t be at all surprised. My heart is worn on my sleeve. And now that I’m starting to come out of the post-divorce fog, I am finding my heart to be more vulnerable than it has been in a long while.

Compassion for the people who feel unlovable. For those who have been beaten. For those who are lonely. Even for one person who has hurt me very badly but is hurting himself even more. Gratitude for my friends and family who listen and advise and support me so completely. There are fewer friends and more family and I am so lucky. I have a man who would drive for four days to support me as I support my kids – even if it means pizza and bagels and half-price book shopping by ourselves and 2,000 miles on the road for a dinner with my kids. Love for my brothers and my sisters and my children and the love of my life. Love for my “old” Roomie who is still my bestest buddy 36 years later!

I may not be wealthy right now but I’m certainly rich – rich with blessings of people who love me and for that I’m so lucky. Life is full of silver linings. I’m so glad that I can find them today.

Gone knitting.

My Trip to the Windy? City

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Sunset from the "el"

It may have been windy but it was not chilly at all at the end of March. In fact, it was downright warm … Ok, let’s be totally honest and call it freaking hot! 85 degrees in Chicago? In March? Absurdly warm … and I brought long sleeves. Thank God for Target!

No particularly flattering but my chins are smiling!

Despite my actor daughter’s mysterious illness that kept her out of three shows, including the one I – and theater house manager daughter – was to attend, we had lots of time together and it was wonderful. Got to see my son briefly on his way to Michigan on Spring Break (his last). What a treat. Met daughter #2’s new beau … and like him very much.

There’s nothing quite as comforting as leaving your child knowing that there’s someone that she loves and who loves her. Someone who’s got her back. Someone who she can talk to and someone who puts up with the crazy family drama and still hangs around. My approval stamp was already taken out, used and put away. Welcome to the family, M! Thank you for loving my daughter. Daughter #1 has a man in her life who’s really special, too. I feel very grateful that they both have someone to share the ups and downs of life with  and that they don’t have to deal with “it” alone. It makes my heart feel full and calm.

We did a ton of walking and eating and talking and walking and eating. We may have had a couple of glasses of wine or a martini or two. Saw the Marilyn statue on Michigan Avenue on the way to the urgent care clinic. Went to the beach and buried Mabel – my grand-dog – in the sand. Shopped at Target and Whole Foods. Threw away a couple of organic mangoes two days later. (Boo!) Drank tea, coffee, water, rode busses and the “el”, walked and ate some more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fishy Tree on the Magnificent Stinky Mile

The flowering trees were all in bloom as were the tulips and daffodils… some smelled sweet and some, not so much! (What tree is this that smells like rotten fish?! And why did anyone think they are good trees to plant along city streets?) I can’t imagine how those who have the fortune (or misfortune) to have one of these trees outside their apartment windows survive this time of year!

Mom's Bad Hair Day - by the (used-to-be-green) Chicago River

It’s always great to spend time with my kids and this trip was no exception. I’m so proud of them all and I’m so happy to be their mom.

What a wonderful trip to Chicago – thanks, L. for letting me sleep in your bed and sharing your space with me. I love seeing you grow and spread your wings! And, K., when was the last time I got to take you to the doctor? 🙂 And my boy – you’re almost done. A couple of months of college work and you’ll have to find a real job or come and live with your mom. I’ll take care of you! 🙂 Ha! Like that’ll happen … the live with mom part, I mean!

We needed to deal with some serious family stuff that reared its ugly head while I was there. I’m full of gratitude that this stuff is coming up now when I’m feeling stronger and more capable so that I can offer support to my children as they deal with some very difficult stuff. I am so lucky to have been given the gift of these three kids.

Gone knitting (with a grateful heart).

 

“Worthy”, your honor!

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"Little Linda" - 1 year old

I grew up in a family that didn’t value females. I was born just shy of 2 years after my parents, then unmarried, gave up their firstborn son for adoption. I was born sixteen months before my younger brother – nearly my Irish twin! They welcomed another son five years after me. I continued that path of worthlessness when I married a man, now my ex, who didn’t value my contribution as a stay-at-home mom (despite significant support from my family in the difficult times).

In the years since my divorce, I’m learning that I am worthy. Have been all along. Unfortunately, nobody told me that I was wonderful and beautiful and smart and all the other good things that I was. Nobody really saw me. I was invisible. A girl sandwiched between a lost son and two more sons. I have come to believe that my parents were probably disappointed when their “firstborn” (at least the one they talked about publicly) was a girl. I didn’t quite measure up to the boy that they wanted. And I never really measured up in their eyes.

I read a wonderful blog post today and want to share it with my readers (I know you’re out there!) I’m sure I’m not the only one who will be grateful to read the insightful post by Danielle LaPorte on the Positively Positive website this morning. Her blog is titled, “A Declaration of Deserving … Just Because You’re Here“. It confirms to me what I have come to believe and made me smile this morning through tears of gratitude. Because I’m learning that I’ve always been worthy and I can now feel worthy … just because I’m here.

Gone Knitting!

100 Years of Colorful

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Yesterday I went to the Central Florida Fair which is celebrating its 100th year. Wow! 100 Years! Quite an accomplishment for a little regional fair. I’d never been to the fair before but my knitting girls brought it into my awareness and I decided to give it a try – trying new things is good for me!

The Knit or Knot Guild was doing demonstrations in the Creative Arts Building – which was air conditioned … for which I am eternally grateful as it was near 90 degrees outside. We demonstrated and taught knitting, crochet and spinning to fair-goers young and old. And enjoyed an afternoon of knitting together. As usual, I made a mistake in my knitting while my jaw was exercising and had to “frog” a dozen or so rows this morning. But it was such a fun afternoon!

We ate fair food.

My sugar-coated sweetie!

We saw horses, calves, 4H calf roping contests, bunnies, colorful people and chickens. Lots of wonderful chickens … a few of which were happy to pose for me!

               

I posted before about submitting knitted items to the fair, didn’t I? Without expectation, I submitted the Señorita Lolita sweater in the “Other” Knitting category and won a second place ribbon. I also submitted my Cambridge Shawl in the “Shawls/Scarves” Knitting category and won a third place ribbon. Yay for me!!! I also will be receiving a check for $30 which, as one of my knitting gals said, I can use for buying more yarn. (Like I need more yarn!?)

I feel very proud that my knitting was acknowledged by a judge and am already thinking ahead to next year’s fair and what I can submit … especially since I know better what the categories are and what gets submitted! Look out world, the Queen Bee’s on the prowl!

Gone Knitting!

Memories and Peace

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Whenever I hear this song, I’ll remember Diane. She was my neighbor and friend. She called me to ask me for help with caring for her children. I couldn’t help her when she really needed help. I know it wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t my rules, I tried my best. I simply couldn’t provide an au pair for her children when we all knew she was leaving our world for a better place, leaving her children to grieve her loss, open and raw. The program regulations do that to protect the au pairs. I still felt helpless.

It’s funny how songs reminds us of something and can have such powerful, nearly physical memories attached to them. This version is only slightly different from the original but still invokes strong memories for me. Diane’s in the arms of the angels and her family soldiers on. They moved away and, last I heard, they were moving on; Jim was remarried and the kids were doing well. Tyler and Samantha. I’ve not heard from them for a long while. I don’t expect I will again but I still think about them and Diane every time this song is played.

My loss is not like theirs but my life, too, was forever changed in 2007. Everything I ever believed was called into question. It’s been four years and a half and I’m still working to make sense of a re-ordered world. A world that is strangely unsafe and only somewhat familiar. Without choice, I’ve been soldiering on, like Diane’s family. I do pretty well most days and am grateful for friends and family who have faith in me when I loose faith in myself. I know I have angels in my life who are watching over me (as Diane, no doubt, is watching over her family) and hope this path will dump me out into a sunshine-filled field where I can find safety, comfort, happiness and peace.

Gone knitting.